Jurassic Bark.

So I was invited to this super secret gene lab a few days back. They were all like, "Lets make squid - dog hybrids and clone Hitler but with a handlebar moustache' an' stuff". And these geeks have actually pulled a Michael Crichton and extracted a batch of preserved dino genes and bunged it into a lizard shake and... hey presto! Instant Dinosaur! Naturally, they had to invite me, coz I'm the King of everything. Do I detect scepticism ??? Have a look at this video then. And don't mind the kids at the sides.. They were later chopped up for dino fodder. Mmmmm Children....




Ok so they are'nt real 'saurs. This is actually the Museum of Natural History's latest exhibit. Visited it while I was in London the other day. This must be my n'th visit to London, and I finally got to see Westminister Abbey. Was most interested in Newton's monument as shown in the Da Vinci Code, but they had roped off that area and I had to peer at it from afar.

All your base are belong to us

Yes I'm back and more 1337 than ever ! That's leet- you uninitiated noobs! Speaking of noobs, only three people have posted comments on this blog till now! Yet my hit counter is incrementing like the never-ending loops in my code which crash CICS and gets my IQ compared to the current room temperature. Okay, so I'm not good with analogies. But its true; I'm getting lotza hits.. .well it must be a cyber poltergiest. So guys, do post comments and add yourselves to my Frappr map. I will pay £1 for every comment so put your a/c number and password there too....

I have found a new way to justify my meagre salary. http://bash.org the whole day long. It's like, exerpts from IRC chats and they are LMAO hilarious. The brit sitting facing me is getting a bit freaked out, cuz I have this maniac smile on most of the time. I think I scare him. This gets my vote for site of the week.

Speaking of laughter, here's another Murphy's Law for Nags who liked tho other one so much. This one is both from personal experience as well as my careful observations of the animal known as Harish in the wild.

You only have to laugh when you can't, or should'nt, or are drinking water,in
which case there is no point trying to control it, as first your body will start
shaking silently, then tears will run down your eyes and farting sounds will
escape your mouth before you finally burst, and if you have any liquid in your
mouth at the time, it will spray out of your nose drenching those in front of
you with slime.

Corollary : The force of the slime thru nose output is directly propotional to the number of people in front of you.

Fatal law of laughter - Never, never laugh while saying 'Tablespace'

Anyway, to help you with your mucous spray, here are a few quotes from bash.org, wo0t wo0t :


#99835 +(13287)- [X]
Hey, you know what sucks?
vaccuums
Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
black holes
Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
lava?

#23601 +(10048)- [X]
what should I give sister for unzipping?
Um. Ten bucks?
no I mean like, WinZip?

#261501 +(8531)- [X]
the "bishop" came to our church today
he was a fucken impostor
never once moved diagonally

#104383 +(8316)- [X]
bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 chicken of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?
--------------
BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

A Pinch of Paranoia

I must be the last one to get on the bandwagon and rant about the recent ban of Blogs by DoT India, but I, at the risk of sounding holier-than-thou, believe it is my obligation to add my voice to the increasingly outraged online community. For those who live in information-free stasis (like me), several blogging sites were banned by Indian ISPs recently, including yours truly- blogspot.com. Apparently, the Indian Department of Telecommunication was trying to block a few particular blogs (17 is what I hear) which it considered subversive as they preach “messages of religious hatred”. In an inspired burst of incompetence, Indian ISPs decided that as quite a few of the 17 sites had a common suffix, like blogspot.com, the entire site must be host to extremist fanatics ( of whom I am one), and blocked all access to the entire site. Well, actually they blocked the IP address, which is common for all the blogs hosted on a particular site.

A list of sites which were blocked –

http://www.hinduunity.org/
http://mypetjawa.mu.nu/
http://pajamaeditors.blogspot.com/
http://exposingtheleft.blogspot.com/
http://thepiratescove.us/
http://commonfolkcommonsense.blogspot.com/
http://bamapachyderm.com/
http://princesskimberley.blogspot.com/
http://merrimusings.typepad.com/
http://mackers-world.com/
http://www.dalitstan.org/
http://hinduhumanrights.org/hindufocus.html
http://nndh.com/ (fax scan unclear, could be wrong)
http://bloodroyaltriped.com/
http://imagessearchyahoo.com/ (should probably be http://image.search.yahoo.com/)
http://imamali8.com/
http://rahulyadav.com/

The supposed letter banning the sites (I cannot vouch for its veracity)

PrincessKimberly.blogspot.com ??? You have to visit that; apparently the Indian government has deemed the insipid ranting of a bored teenage girl a threat to national security. ROFL I bet she’s never had so many hits before!

So Censorship and Incompetence, two of my favourite qualities, had resulted in this India-wide ban of blogs, which has now, thankfully, been lifted. So is India moving towards a George Orwellian Big Brother era ? India is the worlds largest democracy, and though I know many consider that to be a label with no actual meaning ( see freedomhouse.org to check out your country’s ‘freedom rating’), but as an Indian, I enjoy so much more privileges and rights than many of my neighbours. We still do have a long way to go, but which nation does'nt.

Yahoo and Google recently had a spate of bad publicity as they were reportedly bought off by China to filter out ‘anti-nationalist’ sites. I was smug at the time, thinking such censorship would never happen in India. Yet, to my dismay I see that most sites have referred to censorship in “India, Pakistan, Iran or China”. Are we proud of being one of the four countries (the elite few) which are considered by the international community to suffer Censorship? A few of the websites above now proudly wear the ‘Banned by India’ banner. If you find yourself in a similar situation, visit http://jacklewis.net/weblog/archives/2006/07/banned_in_india.php for the banner (as I have pasted above). The government of India has opened us up for derision and contempt, and our freedom of speech, a commodity which I value highly, is being mocked. See below post from http://exposingtheleft.blogspot.com/ -

Silence the Infidel .

Exclusive: Indian bureaucrats ponder whether to un-ban Opinipundit.

So is the government censorship wrong? Has the Internet, the last bastion of free speech finally fallen? I have mixed feeling about this. If a site is truly preaching fanatical religious hatred, or material seriously constituting a threat to national security, then the government may be very well justified in banning it. Or are they? Who is to determine the greater good? Is our knowledge to be doled out in palatable bite sides chunks ?

“Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?” - Decimus Junius Juvenalis

An excerpt from http://courses.cs.vt.edu/~cs3604/lib/Freedom.of.Speech/International/India.html - “India is a Democracy. In order to be a democracy, certain things are expected to be in place, such as freedom of the press and little, or no censorship. While one person would find it perfectly acceptable to publicize pornographic material and sexually explicit lyrics to a curious world for anybody to see, another views such an act as a negative influence on a society being destroyed by such material. When two different positions collide in Indian judicial systems, decisions must be made to serve justice.”

I leave it to you to visit the above sites and decide for yourself if our government is justified. If you are blocked from doing so, please visit http://censorship.wikia.com/wiki/Bypassing_The_Ban. In the end, we are not children, to be swayed by propaganda, and have to make our own choices – for better or worse.

Links

http://indiacensored.com/ - Site for the censored

http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview?id=76315 - A discussion on democracy

http://bamapachyderm.com/

http://www.ethanzuckerman.com/blog/?p=893 – An Elite sad club

http://www.desipundit.com/2006/07/15/blogspotcom-blocked-in-india-by-some-isps/ - The whole story

http://mypetjawa.mu.nu/archives/183986.php - Why was java banned ?

A final note - Not being in India currently, I cannot verify the current situation for myself. Please visit the sites and learn more and post comments to let me know about the current situation. It is you, gentle reader, on whom the onus rests.

Well, my site has turned 100 today. Not years, but hits on my site hit counter (courtesy www.tinycounter.com). And I know at least 2 of those hits were made by people other than me. Let me press F5 a few more time, and we'll be celebrating 200 hits tomorrow, bwahaha.

Along with a counter, I have added a Guestbook and a chat. Pretty redundant, I know, but please post your comments! No matter how useless they are please post them!
I just bought Segate’s 400GB External HDD to go with my spanking new XPS M1710 laptop. Was floating in a haze of gadgetitis induced euphoria, when my friends brought me down to earth, ‘What on earth are you going to do with 400 GB ?’, they asked. A very valid question, indeed, but where does logic figure in my gadget obsessed brain? I firmy believe that Logic, is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence. I know 400GB can be overwhelming to keep in order, especially for a creature who stills own a PC with a 2 GB hard drive, but I pledge (as I do each time I buy a new hard drive) to follow the 3 Commandments for the HDD owner –
Com 1 – Partition, Partition, Partition
Com 2 – Sort thy porn as soon as thou downloadeth it.
Com 3 – When in doubt, Delete!

Well, this purchase should tide me over the next few days. Or rather, I’ll have to give my empty wallet time to recover, before I start eyeing that High Definition camcorder I’ve been drooling over.

I don’t recall if anyone has framed this particular Murphy’s law, but it must be one of the truest–

A gadget increases in price, popularity and drool value till the time one
purchases it, after which it goes on sale, the company releases a newer version
with twice as many capabilities, the price falls yet some more, and every Tom,
Dick and Susie can be seen with one. Finally, they begin giving it free, in
cereal boxes.

It may be a bit long, but I have yet to disprove it. Sometimes I despair…

This reminds me of another of her films, The Producers, and this gets two fingers and two toes up! It is hilarious with Uma playing the Swedish sexpot, Ulla Inga Hansen Bensen Jansen Tallen Hallen Svadon Swanson [last name unknown], who, along with Bialystock and Bloom, set out to produce the worst ever play in Broadway history - 'Springtime with Hitler'

But the real star is Nazi loving, lederhosen wearing Will Ferrel who kept me in splits. Who can forget the classic Haben sie gehort das Deutsche Band !!





Haben sie gehort das Deutsche Band
Mit a bang
Mit a boom
Mit a bing-bang bing-bang boom
Aaah, haben sie gehort das Deutsche Band
Mit a bang
Mit a boom
Mit a bing-bang bing-bang boom
Russian folksongs und French oo-la-la
Can't compare with a German oom-pah-pah!
Ve're sayin'...Haben sie gehort das Deutsche Band
Mit a zetz, mit a zap, mit a zing...
Polish polkas, they're stupid und they're rotten
It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that
Schweigen-reigen-schone-schutzen-schmutzen sauerbraten!
Key change!
Ve're sayin'...Haben sie gehort das Deutsche Band
Mit a zetz, mit a zap, mit a zing...
It's ze only kind of musik
Zat ve huns und our honeys
Love to sing!

You gotta watch this!

Faster than a speeding bullet. More powerful than a mighty locomotive. Able to emblazon the word “Dick” across your forehead using her laser-beam vision? Well, would'nt we all love a girlfriend like that! The topic in question is the movie, My Super Ex-Girlfriend, which I'm just back from seeing. It was a compromise between my choice - The Break Up, and my mate's - Miami Vice. Yes, thats right; I'd rather watch Aniston than Farell. And no, I'm not gay. At least thats what my shrink told me, haha.

I have mixed feeling about Super Ex; it's definitely not a memorable movie, but worth a watch. Uma Thurman is G-Girl (however did they come up with that name), a neurotic super hero who is jilted by a on the rebound Architect, Luke Wilson.

Uma puts on a good show; she's intense, psychotic and vunerable at the same time. I am really starting to become a fan, though I never really paid attention to her in the past.

Today my wanderlust drove me towards the spires and towers of stately Cambridge, where the flowers doth grow and Deans run wilde. This is the first time I've visited Cambridge, in spite of my one and a half years in the UK, and, I must say, it is worth the trip. The architecture is amazing, and there is an atmosphere of history around the colleges. If walls could talk ...

Well, its 12:30 am and I am late for my daily session of Halo CTF. More on my trip tomorrow; for now watch this video I took in Cambridge market. Freakin hilarious - Lassie sings the Blues!!

Virus Stalkers

I just googled my name, and apparently Viren means 'Viruses' in German. I guess I ought to apologise to all those kids I beat up in school for calling me that. Ok, so I did'nt actually beat them up; more like muttered insults behind their back, but you get the idea.

Interestingly enough, I came across one of my aborted Blog attempts - http://enirvana.rediffblogs.com/. Its is now consigned to oblivion (just like this blog will soon be, haha).

Another link turned up in the search... a list of my undergratuate classmates from GRD, most of whom my memory has deleted to save valuable space. (Memory space is at a premium for me; I suffer from the symptoms of Alzheimer's, if not the actual disease). Here is the link, if you're interested, and not a stalker - http://personal.vsnl.com/jkrcbe/ADDFR.htm. If you are a stalker, please mail me. I always wanted a stalker of my own.

Its Friday, and we're finally getting a break from all the heat of last month. Its cloudy and windy here in Norwich, and one would think I would be outside enjoying it all. Well, one would be wrong; I'm stuck in a poorly ventilated office and my eyes are drooping shut every minute.

Well, this has been a month of running into long lost friends. First, as from the dead, one of my mates from Kota, Rajasthan scraps me on Orkut (www.orkut.com). If you're not on the Orkut bandwagon, you gotta get on - even an antisocial animal like me finds it useful. Then I find my classmates from Nainital on www.namesdatabase.com. And finally, I run into my undergratuate college mates from Coimbatore on orkut and ymessenger again.

Finally, for all you kiddies out there interested in Physics, machines... or just fooling around, check out http://www.sodaplay.com/ . Its pretty interesting, and you can build your own machines. It get my Site of the Day award (or Site of the week, depending on how often I blog, haha)

Can you make out the London Eye cabins in the background ?