My Life is a Comic- Part Deux

Well, you probably haven’t read my earlier post - My life is a Comic - pt 1. Go check it out, as this is the long delayed continuation.

 

Having seen The Dark Knight (twice!) in the theatres, I have to say, the movie is great and all, but how will people who don't know about Batman; who don't appreciate the subtle play between the Batman and Joker and Gordon and Dent really *get* it? To be quite honest, a lot of the people around me wouldn't know their Poison Ivy from Harley Quinn. In fact, I've oft heard the opinion, from some of my sadder friends, that reading comics is for kids. The people are invariable those who only read books like 'Who Moved My Cheese', and get to hear of stuff like Sin City or Hellboy when a movie is made of it. Quick Tip- If you’re reading self help books, you’re doing it wrong.

When I was in the sixth grade I moved to a new school, St Pauls in Kota, Rajasthan. I stayed there till seventh, before moving to a new school. St Pauls was, in many ways, one of my worst schools. I never performed really badly, but I was a lackadaisical student; daydreaming in a class which seemed, to me at least, to be full of the most detestable collection of little sneaks that I'd ever seen. I can still remember those little rotters - 'Sir! Viren's sleeping in class!' or "Ma'am, Viren's trying to look down your blouse again!". I hope they burn in hell! The teacher's too were quite god-awful, except for our maths teacher who taught us geometry by taking us out to the school field and making us measure and calculate the volume, diameter and radii of various objects like tree trunks, car tyres and so on. And of course, Miss Sehgal, who taught us physics, and on whom I had an aching crush. Of course, by the time I started paying attention in class, answering questions, and finally catching her attention, it was time to move on to a new place and a new school.

So, not surprisingly, surrounded by people whom I would rather not associate with, I became a bit of a loner. Instead of spending my lunch breaks scuffling in the dirt with the rest of the plebes, I used to retire with my tiffin to the library. And what a library it was. To me it was a regular treasure trove of books and comics which I used to devour with lunch. It was here I encountered many a hitherto unknown comic, such as Strawberry Shortcake(okay, okay! I enjoyed it at the time). Try as I might, I cannot remember the names of the other comics I read, but I do recall some were mighty weird. And cool! Okay, having typed that I decided to google around, and found two more comics I loved at the time. The first was Peter Porker, the Spectacular Spider-Ham. Heh, No it’s totally not a joke.

 

 

 

And then there was Planet Terry, this supercool scifi comic. I totally need to search these out!

 

This library was where I discovered Edgar Rice Burroughs, and spent many a lunch deep in the jungles of Africa. The librarian was a nice man, and quite handy with arts and crafts. I was especially inspired by his money plant holder made out of a bulb, and resolved to make one for my mum on her birthday. I was quite pleased with the result, but my mother not so much when she discovered I had broken about thirty-six working bulbs before I found one that was suitable.

Moving on, Nainital was when I grew interested in comic strips. I collected the daily Garfield and Hagar from the paper. I continued with my Archies, and the occasional superhero comics. Batman was always my favourite, but Superman and the JLA would do in a pinch.

Coimbatore was where I found a reasonably steady source of comics in the form of a modestly small but well stocked (and probably illegal) lending library called Choose and Read. I managed to get hold of the Batman Knightfall and Knightquest series; however the issues I got were later on in the series after Bane had broken Batman's back. I was quite shocked by all the changes; Batman retired.. Robin murdered.. Batgirl shot and paralysed! And the redesign of the Bat’s costume (see left)! In fact all the DC comics I picked up we strangely confused. Superman was killed, Lex Luthor was batting for the good side now and Batman had a son with Talia Al Ghul? A lot (but not all) of this confusion was due to stories set in alternate earths. and then DC had this major reboot with a series called Crisis on Multiple Earths, which I have not understood till now.

Marvel was a bit better with Spiderman as entertaining as ever, but more and more I began eschewing the fantastic four and Captain America for new comics abut these gang of mutants known as the Xmen. The XMen were a great hit and thousands of mutants (or metahumans as DC called them) started popping up all over comics. They’ve become a bit overused now, and it seems that Marvel’s writer just invent characters on whim. How about Maggot, Jazz or Zeitgeist? And often, I feel Marvel introduced female characters just coz they wanted to see how skimpy a outfit they could fit their heroines into before their comics started getting shrink wrapped and placed in the ‘adult’ shelves. Take a look at this, if you don’t believe me.

Like a review by R. Fiore goes -

Being physically invulnerable and endowed with gnarly powers, their clothing need have no practical value aside from the practice of exhibitionism.  They are attired in one of three ways:  Scantily clad, partially nude, and almost completely nude.  If they were going to church, they would wear tight trousers and leather jackets.  The simpleminded viewer might conclude they are dressing simply to please men.  This would be wrong-headed.  Their dedication to self-exposure is as pure, selfless and inner-directed as the vocation of the most devout monk.

Okay, so I totally get where they are coming from. That’s why I put all those pics above. Hey, I DO want more people in here!

 

Anyways, next time anyone asks you Marvel or DC, you know the right answer. It’s DC all the way baby.

Okay, so this post has stretched a bit longer than expected. I will be back with more…

Baby got Back

I know, right? WTH was he doing for a year? Sleeping? A coma? Perhaps he decided to unplug himself from the interwebs.

Well, conjecture no more. It's time to share a deep darke secret about myself; a secret which will explaim the tragic story of my year long hiatus; a sordid secret which will shake the foundations of your reality. No, it's not that I dress as a obsessive compulsive superhero every full moon and solve crimes involving geriatric penguins. It's just this - I'm Lazy. Note the capital L.

This is not simple lethargy folks. I have elevated ennui to an art form. Much like the Mona Lisa, my lazyness looks out at the world with an enigmatic smile.

And now that's cleard up, lets move on. I have resolved to start posting again, though, of course, my words are not worth the the htm that renders them. I got a few queries about when I'm going to start posting again. . . got a few ideas percolating. Lets see how long I can keep it up.

I've been getting quite a few views on some posts; unfortunately these are on those post which are most derivative (containing plaigarised content, in other words). Depression Dog's V day and Baww seem to be up there. Also, MDTL seems to have been discovered by spammers. If I were to take them up on their offers, I'd be sitting in a casino, wearing jewellery, sporting a massive errection with my herpes all cleared up.

By far the most hilarious of these are, and I quote,

HELP! I’m currently being held prisoner by the Russian mafia xyzrxyz [url=http://www.buypenisenlargement.com]penis enlargement[/url] xyzrxyz and being forced to post spam comments on blogs and forum! If you don’t approve this they will kill me. xyzrxyz [url=http://www.male-sexual-styles.com]penis enlargement[/url] xyzrxyz They’re coming back now. xyzrxyz [url=http://pills.buypenisenlargement.com]vimax[/url] xyzrxyz Please send help! nitip [url=http://www.male-sexual.com/vimax-pills.html]vimax[/url]

I can just imagine the poor bloke, battered, bruised and chained to the table, forced to spam a neverending procession of no-account blogs. That just moves me to tears that does.

I've also been making a few tweaks to the layout and colours of the page; hope you like them. Colours tend to look much more vivid on my glossy RGBLED than others, so I apologise in advance if everything looks washed out on your screens.

Wow! So that's like two posts in as many days. Maybe I AM turning over a new leaf. Eh. . . or maybe not. See you in a year folks!

My life is a Comic - pt 1

When I was really young, I remember reading a lot of Archies. The were more accessible than superhero comics and much more entertaining than the Chacha Chaudharys and suchlike. On occasion, as I would be zipping through a double digest, my dad would take it and start reading aloud. 'Oh Veronica, you look lovely. SMOOCH! SMOOCH!'. My dad would quite enjoy himself, and exert himself to the maximum to get the full range of sound effects involved whenever Archie went near some girl. He would then look at me in mock surprise and say - This comic is FULL of kissing. Is that why you like it?, and grin.    

 

Blushing furiously, I would snatch the offending digest out of his hand and tell him that I was just reading it for Jughead (the inveterate girl hater). And it was true because I was at the age when the opposite sex was the enemy, and all contact was to be avoided. Even though I was strangely attracted, externally I presented a strong front, exhorting my friends to resist their lubricious feminine wiles. Of course, with age comes wisdom, and I soon realised that I was no match for them. But that's another story...

I still read Archies, but only when I go home and can get them from the library. They're light enough that I can eat, surf the net, watch TV and read them at the same time. Of course, there were a few superhero comics available then, with Phantom, Tarzan, Mandrake and Flash Gordon leading the front. Many were the happy hours I spent pretending to study, with a Flash comic hidden in my Social Studies textbook. Unfortunately though, I tended to get lost in that world of fantasy, at which point soft 'PEW PEW PEW' sounds would emanate from my throat, as I battled the hordes of Ming the Merciless. At this point my mom would storm in, confiscate my comic and leave me with  sore ear, which, let me tell you, was worse than any torture Ming could inflict.        

 

 Another comic, or should I say graphic novel, that I was very fond of was the Asterisk and Obelisk series. Goscinny and Uderzo crafted masterpiece after masterpiece with their wry french humour and witty stereotypes. I could read their comics time and time again and still do. Of course Uderzo continued the series after Goscinny died, with mixed success.

And of course, in the same format was Herge's Tintin with it's high adventure and the comedic timing of Haddock and Thomson and Thompson. To be precise. These can often have me laughing out loud, which is my criteria for a good book.       

Over the years, I've encountered many different comics, and being in a place where easy access to good comics was never easy, the ones I have run across are a motley and varied selection. Ranging from the indigenous Tinkle to Bone and The Blue Devil and Swamp Thing, all comics were grist to my mill.

The earliest comics I remember were the Walt Disney ones starring Mickey, Donald, The Beagle Boys and so on. Most of them involved Hewie, Dewie and Louie thwarting some inventive plan of the Beagle Boys to get their hands on Scrooge McDuck's cash.

In Delhi in the fourth grade He-Man mini booklets were the latest craze. They used to come in plastic pouches, four to the sheet, and I collected them avidly. It was an expression of my interest in science fiction and fantasy, and besides, Teela and The Sorceress  interested me strangely. 

  

 To be continued....

Supersize me (or) I wrote this whole post just to work in the last sentence

I'm deathly afraid of travelling on planes. Crashing and going to hell in a fireball of molten metal is the least of my worries, however. No, what really scares me is the torture my knees will go through for the next eight hours. Because once I wedge myself into my seat and my knees are jammed into the back of the seat in-front of me, I'm sure not going anywhere till they pry me out with a crowbar. No wonder I've developed good bladder control.

And of course the diminutive girl next to me has enough space to stretch her legs out, do a few lunges and open her food tray and rest her feet on top of it. At which point I finally loose my patience and smack her upside the head. To which she responds by biting me.... In the knee.

People always envy tall people. But believe me, the world does it's best to compensate for what few advantages we have by trying to compress us into the tiniest spaces meant for normal mortals. When you can't hear the radio while driving, because your knees are blocking your ears, it's time to pull over and set fire to the car.

And dont get me started on the whole opposite sex thing. How can you make out how a girl looks when all you can see is the top of her head. I once dated this girl for two months, she had a haircut, and I couldn't recognise her any more. We broke up shortly after. Nowdays, I duck and weave like a boxer when meeting women, trying to get a glimpse of their face.

All in all, it's quite tough. I have repeated concussion from having knocked my head off various doorframes, ledges and overhangs. And that's why I have this lazy eye. Now, I just keep my huge fat head tucked into my shoulders. and envy all the small people around me.

Because sometimes, there's nothing better than a little head.

Gunpowder Treason

Remember, remember the Fifth of November,
The Gunpowder Treason and Plot,
I know of no reason
Why Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot.
Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes, t'was his intent
To blow up King and Parliament.
Three-score barrels of powder below
To prove old England's overthrow;
By God's providence he was catch'd
With a dark lantern and burning match.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, let the bells ring.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, God save the King!

It's that time of year again where the night sky is lit up with sudden brilliant displays of pyrotechnics. Starting with Bonfire Night and ending up with Diwali, it is almost suspicious how two firework related festivals occur almost in the same week in two countries at opposite ends of the world. Conspiracies by Hallmark?

Of course, Guy Fawkes in the UK is a much more low-key affair than Diwali in India, where the sounds of crackers exploding in the city forms a continuous background rumble, almost like thunder, punctuated by the louder blasts nearby. Th night sky in Delhi is ablaze with reds and greens and blues, as rockets explode all around (the occasional one misdirected into someone's window), and the air is thick with smoke.

Take a look at a few pictures from my bedroom window.

Powered by ScribeFire.

A Viren by any other name...

Do you remember one of my first posts - about my name meaning 'Viruses' in German? (Mine Darke and Twisted Life: Virus Stalkers )

Well, it turns out my name have very close connections with royalty in Sweden. And I found this out, all thanks to my dear Italian friend Rosario.

Have a look at his mail below.

Hello my friend, how's life?

I was in IKEA on Saturday and realised how your worldwide travels and your well-known blog have made you an important person, now even in Sweden everyone knows you and you've become an important part of everyday life for all the IKEA customers.

I hope they're paying you royalties for the use of your name!
Ciao !

I'll give you a minute to wipe the tears out of your eyes, shall I ? How does that make my name regal, you ask? Well, what else is is more royal in a house than the 'throne' ?

Okayy.. so apparently Ikea has a whole line of products (http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/categories/series/12286/) under its 'Viren' theme, and they are all bathroom related, which rather knocks my regal theory out of the window.

Anyways, remember me the next time you're in the loo. 'Cause I'll be thinking of you....
And Rosario, I hope to run into you real soon.

Virus Stalkers

I just googled my name, and apparently Viren means 'Viruses' in German. I guess I ought to apologise to all those kids I beat up in school for calling me that. Ok, so I did'nt actually beat them up; more like muttered insults behind their back, but you get the idea.

Interestingly enough, I came across one of my aborted Blog attempts - http://enirvana.rediffblogs.com/. Its is now consigned to oblivion (just like this blog will soon be, haha).

Another link turned up in the search... a list of my undergratuate classmates from GRD, most of whom my memory has deleted to save valuable space. (Memory space is at a premium for me; I suffer from the symptoms of Alzheimer's, if not the actual disease). Here is the link, if you're interested, and not a stalker - http://personal.vsnl.com/jkrcbe/ADDFR.htm. If you are a stalker, please mail me. I always wanted a stalker of my own.