Heroes interpreted.

The time has come, to talk of many thing. Of capes, and pandas, and flying bums; of maniacs and kings. And why Darkseid never sleeps; and whether bats have wings.

The post, obviously, has been inspired by watching three superhero movies in quick succession; Kung Fu Panda, Hancock and The Dark Knight. Okay okay, so you say Kung Fu Panda is NOT a superhero as such. Do I even care?

So lets start off with Hancock. A great premise and reasonable acting ruined by a lousy script. Not even Charlize was able to save this. Will plays it too emotional to be really funny, and where oh where are the impressive villains? A gay guy with a hook for a hand? That's the baddie? Please. The movie gets over before it begins. Do not watch it. Not even if guys with hook hands turn you on. Coz' you can find stuff on the internet that'll satisfy THAT fetish. Rule 34, baby.

Kung Fu panda is cool. He can do the Wushi finger hold AND make a mean noodle soup. But that doesn't mean I like being compared with him. The NERVE of some people... Anyhoo, this is another movie which starts before it begins. The Bad Guy is whipped in one round with Po. The hero does not lose the first round only to return for round two, having finally learnt the meaning of 'heart'. And it doesn't really give me a good cartoon babe to fixate on (can anyone say Jasmine?).

But the movie is fun all the same; full of laughs and morals. And in the end, the audience learns that the secret to avoiding paralysing kung fu attacks is in developing an insulating layer of fat. And isn't that what really matters?

And finally, the movie of the year; The Dark Knight. Now I don't want to wax loquacious, but what a flick. They've finally tried to reach what I have visualised as the ultimate Batman film. That's right, in my head I'm an Oscar winning film director. And Batman will be my masterpiece. So starting with the premise that this film is awesome, crap-yo-pants fantastic, lets begin to tear it down. Christian Bale.... nope, Bale is NOT my Batman. He's too small, not brooding enough. Batman is a physical presence. He looms out from shadows. His cape falls over his shoulders to the ground; covering his suit; hiding it's outlines. His mask is not an oversize helmet covering most of his face, but thinner, smoother, showing his jawline. And his voice is not a rough rasp, but smooth and deep and full of hidden menace.

Has Ledger beaten Nicholson in his portrayal of the Joker? Who can say. Nicholson was an impressive joker, and combined with Burton's genius was whimsical, mad and deadly. Ledger's just creepy. Okay; subtract the 'just'. He brings creepy to a whole new level; a psychopathic mass-murdering level. And he's brilliant at it. They've interpreted the madness of the joker wonderfully well in the movie. He's in control of the situation the whole time, playing Gordon and Wayne like marionettes. And like the comics, the interplay between the Batman and Joker is wonderfully scripted. One gets the feel that the Joker defines himself by the existence of the Batman.

Finally, Gotham. Chicago does provide a good substitute, and plays off well against Nolan's storytelling style, but I would expect Gotham to be more... er... Gothic. More dark, more gargoyled and gloomy.

But hey! You can't have everything! A few things they DO get right is the twisted relationship between the bat and the joker, emphasis on the dark knight as a detective, and the deliberate concealment of Chief Gordon's daughter, Barbara. And we all know who SHE is.

Watch out for more heroes, including the eagerly anticipated Watchmen and the second celluloid version of the seminal Mike Mignola's Hellboy.

From The Heart

What do movies like Juno, Rocket Science, Little Miss Sunshine, Waitress or Ghost World have in common? Well, they're all sorta indie, predominantly teen driven, cute movies, which mirror real life. They generally have happy endings, but not perfect endings.

In my opinion, the common thread that ties all these films together is heart. All of them have heart. No, they wont make you cry, but they will make you think; they will make your heart swell up... they will make you feel.

Well, do any of you know films that fit into this genre, be sure to post them as comments here. I will be grateful.

Well, this post has been written, as I'm just back from watching Juno. A genuine feel gooder full of wit with a whimsical soundtrack, this is a must watch. Ellen Page is predictably brilliant, but Michael Cera is brilliant too. After Superbad, I'm keeping an eye out for this little guy.

Interestingly enough, the screenwriter, Diablo Cody, used to be a stripper, and I'm guessing she has many more interesting tales on the way.

The film is full of one liners and zingers, and the plot never really goes where you expect it to. But put all together, it works; it really does.

Revenge: a dish best served in a pie.

There's a whole in the world like a great black pit
and the vermin of the world inhabit it
and its morals aren't worth what a pin can spit
and it goes by the name of London.
At the top of the hole sit the previlaged few
Making mock of the vermin in the lonely zoo
turning beauty to filth and greed...
I too have sailed the world and seen its wonders,
for the cruelty of men is as wonderous as Peru
but there's no place like London!

There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
and it's filled with people who are filled with shit!
And the vermin of the world inhabit it!

As rich red blood wells out of cracks and runs into gutters and sewers, you can settle back in your seat, with the confidence that Tim Burton, as always, will not fail to deliver a surreal, quirky and visually fantastic experience.

The music is NOT by Elfman this time, and at times the songs seem to stretch just a wee bit longer than what is comfortable, but Burton more than redeems himself with hilarious sequences, especially the 'By the Sea' song.

Depp is as usual brilliant, and Carter manages to be both grimy and sensual and funny at the same time. Rickman is not as creepy as he could have been, which is a disappointment, but Sasha Baron Cohen is pure genius.

And like my friend remarked, Burton must've gone through several thousand bottles of ketchup for this film, for the blood flows freely. Oh boy, does it flow! Quite gruesome really, but go watch!

I brought sexy back!

Yes I’m back. Do control your screams of adulation and joy and terror. Since I last blogged, I’ve changed countries and continents (not to mention houses), and of course, most importantly, internet service providers.

Spending two months without internet at home has been a traumatic experience, which has almost reduced me to a mindless, drooling zombie. Of course my friends will say that the change is an improvement, but they soon stop their mocking, once I run at them a few time screaming and swinging my gore splattered axe. (No officer, I have no idea how those heads got in my freezer)

Moving on, Greenpeace has launched a petition to Ban the Bulb in India. Bulbs are, as you know, pretty inefficient converting 90% of their energy into heat rather than light. Do sign this petition.

I’ve decided to refurbish the blog. Friends tell me it’s too dark and dismal, so I’ve decided to throw in some blood reds and puke yellows. As to when this will be achieved, I make no comments.

Since I’ve moved, I now share my house with shoe crazy people. There are four of us in the house, and if you place all the shoes in a line end to end, it will circumnavigate the globe two times, and have enough leather left to make crotch guards for the Arsenal football team. The other night I found the ghost of a cow in the foyer looking at me accusingly. I knocked it over the head with my axe and made ghost burgers for breakfast.

What’s the deal with girls and shoes anyway? I’ve never met a girl who doesn’t slaver and foam at the mouth while passing the window displays at shoe shops. And don’t get me started on the subject of heels. Pencil heels, platforms, block… all designed to twist the foot into ways it was never meant to be. Girls should really pay more tax than guys, as I’m sure their heels must wear out the pavement about five times faster than ours. And what’s with the sound those heels make; I was walking behind two stilettoed girls the other day, and it sounded like I was back in Victorian England with horse drawn buggies clattering up and down.

That’s my monthly rant out of the way then. For all you cubicle dwellers looking for ways to keep from going insane from boredom, I bring you my link of the week (month.. year?). http://www.basicinstructions.net/ is a webcomic drawn by Scott Meyer, and frankly, it’s hilarious. I got it off Scott Adams blog.

I caught the Simpsons Movie the other night, and it is as promised – a movie which keeps you mildly entertained. The most side-splitting part is the rendition of Spider-Pig in typical Homeresque style-

Spider-Pig, Spider-Pig,
Does whatever a Spider-Pig does,
Can he swing from a web?
No he can't, he's a pig.
Lookoouut! He is a Spider-Pig!

I managed to catch another animation recently; and this was much more magical and satisfying; Miyazaki's Spirited Away. This is a beautiful and extremely surreal picture, and is definitely a must see. I did want to catch Ratouille, but it hasn't released in the UK as yet. What's up with that? My friends in India saw it last week!

Update - Apparently I was motivated enough to update the blog's design before posting this. Am still working on the design, but do comment and let me know what you think.

My Hobgoblin will go on and on...

Just back from spiderman 3, and I'm wishing I could spin a web or punch a hole through a wall or something. That would sure come in handy, though I guess I may not be superhero material. Hell, I'm not even supervillian material, though I do practice my maniac laugh in front of the mirror everyday. I'm just not bad enough (though I'm sure there's may who would disagree), but neither can I be Mr. Goody-two-shoes. I do however have a talent; I can bitch and whine and moan almost nonstop till people start hurling and throwing themselves off skyscrapers.

Now THAT'S a talent.

Now I, personally, liked Spiderman 3. My friends however, did wonder if it was Spiderman or The Titanic. I guess they did overdo the mush a bit. This time around, the moral of the movie was, 'You always have a choice'. Sounds like a pick-up line destined to fail.

I submit this link now - Ladder Theory. The Ladder theory may just be that fabled 'Theory of Everything' (or just the theory of everything that counts). So if you're a non-handsome, non-rich, male nerd, do visit. It may just lead you to nirvana. (If you think you're a handsome, rich, non-nerdy male, then you can visit too, as you're obviously deluded). And if you're female, feel free to stalk me and throw death threats wrapped round bricks through my window.

No points for guessing which ladder I invariably end up on.

I came across this site,http://www.imagini.net/, which uses images to map your personality and creates a sorta visual DNA for you (check my sidebar). After selecting a number of images, it did some sorta analysis and came back to tell me that my personality is that of a Dreamer. Now, I gotta agree with this, as I have always been the kind of guy whose head will be in the clouds. Hell, my feet are usually in the clouds too.

A Happy Easter

Phew! It's been a hectic few weeks for me. I've had to work till my eyes crossed and my hair stood up in unruly spikes from all the pulling in agony. But at least it hasn't been very boring.

A few weeks back, I managed to catch a play in Delhi titled 'Ghalib in New Delhi', which is a pretty humourous account of how the famous erstwhile Urdu poet Mirza Ghalib fares, when he visits his beloved Delhi in the year 2007. It elected genuine laughs from me, which means that it must be pretty good, as I am usually a jaded sorta customer.

I also managed to catch a few movies. Even Katrina Kaif ( who has has turned into even more of an eye-popping stunner) could not save Nameste London, which is trite and sophomoric. The Good German, on the other hand was going quite well, till they turned off the Air conditioning in the theatre, and I was forced to wake up. Now, 300, that is a movie to watch. The scenes are shot true Frank Miller style, and even the shots of blood (which, in this movie, spurts in abundance) are quite picturesque.

I have been watching some excellent movies on DVD though, starting with a real gem - Stranger Than Fiction, which reinforces my belief that Will Ferrel is a really talented actor. And of course, sweet Maggie Gyllenhaal, is there to tug at my heartstrings. Another amazing movie I saw was Little Miss Sunshine, which is sweet and weird at the same time. Go watch.

Well, I just have to wish everone a belated Happy Easter. I visited the Indian Habitat Center at Delhi to catch an easter concert, which was cancelled, and ended up watching the tail end of a very strange play, after which I proceeded to get myself drunk on Jack Daniels and port.