Heroes interpreted.

The time has come, to talk of many thing. Of capes, and pandas, and flying bums; of maniacs and kings. And why Darkseid never sleeps; and whether bats have wings.

The post, obviously, has been inspired by watching three superhero movies in quick succession; Kung Fu Panda, Hancock and The Dark Knight. Okay okay, so you say Kung Fu Panda is NOT a superhero as such. Do I even care?

So lets start off with Hancock. A great premise and reasonable acting ruined by a lousy script. Not even Charlize was able to save this. Will plays it too emotional to be really funny, and where oh where are the impressive villains? A gay guy with a hook for a hand? That's the baddie? Please. The movie gets over before it begins. Do not watch it. Not even if guys with hook hands turn you on. Coz' you can find stuff on the internet that'll satisfy THAT fetish. Rule 34, baby.

Kung Fu panda is cool. He can do the Wushi finger hold AND make a mean noodle soup. But that doesn't mean I like being compared with him. The NERVE of some people... Anyhoo, this is another movie which starts before it begins. The Bad Guy is whipped in one round with Po. The hero does not lose the first round only to return for round two, having finally learnt the meaning of 'heart'. And it doesn't really give me a good cartoon babe to fixate on (can anyone say Jasmine?).

But the movie is fun all the same; full of laughs and morals. And in the end, the audience learns that the secret to avoiding paralysing kung fu attacks is in developing an insulating layer of fat. And isn't that what really matters?

And finally, the movie of the year; The Dark Knight. Now I don't want to wax loquacious, but what a flick. They've finally tried to reach what I have visualised as the ultimate Batman film. That's right, in my head I'm an Oscar winning film director. And Batman will be my masterpiece. So starting with the premise that this film is awesome, crap-yo-pants fantastic, lets begin to tear it down. Christian Bale.... nope, Bale is NOT my Batman. He's too small, not brooding enough. Batman is a physical presence. He looms out from shadows. His cape falls over his shoulders to the ground; covering his suit; hiding it's outlines. His mask is not an oversize helmet covering most of his face, but thinner, smoother, showing his jawline. And his voice is not a rough rasp, but smooth and deep and full of hidden menace.

Has Ledger beaten Nicholson in his portrayal of the Joker? Who can say. Nicholson was an impressive joker, and combined with Burton's genius was whimsical, mad and deadly. Ledger's just creepy. Okay; subtract the 'just'. He brings creepy to a whole new level; a psychopathic mass-murdering level. And he's brilliant at it. They've interpreted the madness of the joker wonderfully well in the movie. He's in control of the situation the whole time, playing Gordon and Wayne like marionettes. And like the comics, the interplay between the Batman and Joker is wonderfully scripted. One gets the feel that the Joker defines himself by the existence of the Batman.

Finally, Gotham. Chicago does provide a good substitute, and plays off well against Nolan's storytelling style, but I would expect Gotham to be more... er... Gothic. More dark, more gargoyled and gloomy.

But hey! You can't have everything! A few things they DO get right is the twisted relationship between the bat and the joker, emphasis on the dark knight as a detective, and the deliberate concealment of Chief Gordon's daughter, Barbara. And we all know who SHE is.

Watch out for more heroes, including the eagerly anticipated Watchmen and the second celluloid version of the seminal Mike Mignola's Hellboy.