7.30 pm: Where the weary travellers finally arrive.
We reached the Bayfield Backpackers at around a quarter to eight, and were shown to our rooms by the friendly owner. The hostel was quite decent, and was full of Chinese, surprisingly. He recommended a restaurant nearby for dinner, where we proceeded and made a booking for later.
We reached the Bayfield Backpackers at around a quarter to eight, and were shown to our rooms by the friendly owner. The hostel was quite decent, and was full of Chinese, surprisingly. He recommended a restaurant nearby for dinner, where we proceeded and made a booking for later.
Portree is a tiny little town, with nothing much going for it, except a gale force wind which nearly lifted us off our feet. The wind blew straight in from the sea bringing with it a smattering of rain with each gust. Since we had about an hour to kill, we made our way in to the nearest pub with a pool table, where Gupta proceeded to comprehensively wipe the floor first with Kumar, and then with the locals. Meanwhile I and George enjoyed a smooth drink of Tallisker whiskey (the only whiskey produced on the island itself – at the Tallisker distillery) on rocks.
9.00 pm : Dinner and drinks.
We then headed to the restaurant, which was rather posh with a steep menu. The ambiance however, quite made up for the prices, and the food was delightful. I had the beefsteak with pepper sauce accompanied with haggis on the side with mountains of steamed vegetables. A red wine was ordered which quite complimented the food, and amidst happy chatter, we dug into the food.
Full and sated, and mildly intoxicated with the whisky and wine, we made our way back to the hostel, and into the common room, which was quite deserted at that time of night. The Bacardi and Morgan’s Spiced we brought out, and we rummaged through a stack of board games to play.
10.30 pm : A Trivial Pursuit indeed.
We finally settled on Trivial Pursuit, a game that none of us had played before, and consequently had to interpret the rules as best as we could, which in our inebriated state, led to quite a surreal game. We shuffled the deck of cards meant for adults, and started off.
We finally settled on Trivial Pursuit, a game that none of us had played before, and consequently had to interpret the rules as best as we could, which in our inebriated state, led to quite a surreal game. We shuffled the deck of cards meant for adults, and started off.
I mean started off figuratively, as 15 minutes later we were all still in the exact same starting questions, scratching our heads over questions like 'Who won the 1980 Women’s Ping Pong championships in Bournemouth', or 'What significance does the phrase 'want bitty' mean to Harvey from Little Britain?'. Apparently, British trivia was much too complicated for our feeble brains, so we switched to the children’s pack of cards.
At the Children’s level, the advantage of still being in my first childhood became quickly apparent, as I started fielding question left and right such as –
Q. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
A. He would chuck, he would, as much as he could, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
Also Acceptable - It might depend on how many female woodchucks were present. Or, it could depend on whether the woodchuck's mother-in-law was around or not. If she was, he'd be chucking all day. If not, he'd be watching the football game.
Q. What colour were the Little Mermaid's knickers
A. Trick question! She never wore any.
We all were soon moving our counters round the board, except George, who had the bad luck of being stuck with some real mind-bending stumpers; including 'Complete the name of this famous fashion house- Ralph ____?', 'Would you find an orang-u-tan in a) A Forest b)The Kitchen or c) Your girlfriends pants' (though even I had to admit that there was no SINGLE correct answer here), and 'Spell your name backwards'.
11.30 pm: Ruin and Destitution.
Well, my prodigious brainpower ensured I won the game, followed by Kuruvilla as a close second, leaving George at the end to mutter and curse gnaw at the board. He soon had his revenge however, as we moved on to monopoly next where my generous and giving nature soon left me bankrupt, and I was forced to steal money from Kumar by distracting him by pretending nude Scots girls were frolicking outside the window behind us.
12.15 am: Nightime Chills.
By that time we had pretty much demolished most of the alcohol we had brought in, and when I had to bring my face about 5 centimetres from the notes to read their denomination, I decided it was time to give up and turn in. The only problem was, when we reached our room it was freezing cold; colder than a witch's tits; to be colourful about it. Apparently, the lodge keeper had forgotten to turn up the heating in our room, as Kuruvilla, who was sleeping in a different dorm reported back that it was all toasty warm over there. After trying the 'panic' button on the counter several times with no luck, we resigned ourselves to dying from hypothermia that night.
12.45 am: A Romantic interlude thwarted.
Gupta and I immediately took the opportunity to announce that we would share the same bunk in the interest of 'sharing body heat', but that proposal was squashed immediately by the other homophobic prudes in our party. And that is INSPITE of the fact that we insisted we would be sharing ONLY body heat and nothing else. Apparently, getting frostbitten privates is infinitely preferable to doing anything vaguely 'gay'.
1.15 am: Dream Time.
Well, that was the end of the of a must enjoyable day 2, and I slowly dropped off into insensibility, with only my nose peeking out of the bedclothes.
At the Children’s level, the advantage of still being in my first childhood became quickly apparent, as I started fielding question left and right such as –
Q. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
A. He would chuck, he would, as much as he could, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
Also Acceptable - It might depend on how many female woodchucks were present. Or, it could depend on whether the woodchuck's mother-in-law was around or not. If she was, he'd be chucking all day. If not, he'd be watching the football game.
Q. What colour were the Little Mermaid's knickers
A. Trick question! She never wore any.
We all were soon moving our counters round the board, except George, who had the bad luck of being stuck with some real mind-bending stumpers; including 'Complete the name of this famous fashion house- Ralph ____?', 'Would you find an orang-u-tan in a) A Forest b)The Kitchen or c) Your girlfriends pants' (though even I had to admit that there was no SINGLE correct answer here), and 'Spell your name backwards'.
11.30 pm: Ruin and Destitution.
Well, my prodigious brainpower ensured I won the game, followed by Kuruvilla as a close second, leaving George at the end to mutter and curse gnaw at the board. He soon had his revenge however, as we moved on to monopoly next where my generous and giving nature soon left me bankrupt, and I was forced to steal money from Kumar by distracting him by pretending nude Scots girls were frolicking outside the window behind us.
12.15 am: Nightime Chills.
By that time we had pretty much demolished most of the alcohol we had brought in, and when I had to bring my face about 5 centimetres from the notes to read their denomination, I decided it was time to give up and turn in. The only problem was, when we reached our room it was freezing cold; colder than a witch's tits; to be colourful about it. Apparently, the lodge keeper had forgotten to turn up the heating in our room, as Kuruvilla, who was sleeping in a different dorm reported back that it was all toasty warm over there. After trying the 'panic' button on the counter several times with no luck, we resigned ourselves to dying from hypothermia that night.
12.45 am: A Romantic interlude thwarted.
Gupta and I immediately took the opportunity to announce that we would share the same bunk in the interest of 'sharing body heat', but that proposal was squashed immediately by the other homophobic prudes in our party. And that is INSPITE of the fact that we insisted we would be sharing ONLY body heat and nothing else. Apparently, getting frostbitten privates is infinitely preferable to doing anything vaguely 'gay'.
1.15 am: Dream Time.
Well, that was the end of the of a must enjoyable day 2, and I slowly dropped off into insensibility, with only my nose peeking out of the bedclothes.
No comments:
Post a Comment
If you liked this...Comment!!