Mine Darke and Twisted Life

Good morning

2011-11-23T09:39:00.001Z

Iceland Day 3 - Black sand and blue ice.

2011-11-07T16:35:00.001Z

We woke to the sound ofdozens of alarms going of on our various mobile phones. Today’s trip was to bethe longest, and we would have driven a total of 800 kms before the dayfinished. Consequently, we were to be picked up an hour earlier than normal,which was why I was pulling on my pants while half asleep.

The brisk chill outside soonwoke us up, and before long we were on the coach retracing our journey fromyesterday. Today’s trip was to culminate in the amazing glacial lagoon Jökulsárlónand would give us a south coast tour too.

We booked the trip via IcelandExcursions and it cost us 23,655 Icelandic Kroner per person.

We would follow the same path as the day before, but theglacial lip where we stopped the day before was only about halfway to our finaldestination. Predictably, the first stop was Skogarfoss, which we had visitedthe day before, but what a difference was there today! The sky was grey, andthe waterfall which was bright and sparkling with rainbows yesterday, was broodyand menacing today. After a few photos, we whizzed on.

Our guide today was not a native Icelander, but a German girl who had come years ago to Iceland to work as a farm hand, and had fallen in love with the land. She told us more of the story of Iceland, including some of the Sagas. As we listened, we watched the landscape go by. Geologically speaking, most of the features in Iceland are brand new, and the twisted cliffs and jutting crags have not been worn smooth by rain and wind.

Lava fields and green hills

Around 12, we stopped for lunch in a cafeteria in the mille of nowhere and with a view of the glaciers. It looked pretty bleak from outside, but there was a extensive cold buffet with varieties of fish, along with a hot soup of Icelandic lamb.

Jökulsárlón is a glacial lagoon formed by meltwater off the Vatnajökull glacier. The lake is the deepest in Iceland, and is growing bigger as the glacier lip melts. The most interesting this is that the lip of the glacier slowly breaks off into icebergs which then drift down the lagoon till they eventually reach the sea. This results in a lake full of the most amazing and bizzarely shaped blocks of ice. This is the most unearthly beautiful place I have seen.

Iceberg ahoy

Cubism

And to add to this, there were plenty of seals fishing in the lake. We were to take a cruise around the lake to see it better, and after wandering around the shore, our boat trundled around a nearby hill and stopped near us. I say trundled, as it had four wheels! It was actually an amphibious craft, and once we boarded it, it slowly dove down to the shore and into the lake and we were off.

A Seal

The amphibious craft

The Glacial lip in the background

The icebergs were even more beautiful close up, and were a variety of colours, from briliant white to black. The most beautiful ones glowed with a serene blue light. Our guide, this très cute Icelandic girl, proceeded to fish out this chunk of ice from the lake and gave us a quick talk on the icebergs, after which she broke it up into chunks for us to taste. The ice is pristine 1000 year old, and supposed to be really good in whisky as it is so compressed it melts very slowly. Whisky unfortunately, was not served.

Our guide cradling some ice

Check out the video of her talking about the lagoon.

As a treat, have a look at this BBC video likening Jökulsárlón to Saturn's rings.

On the way back, we stopped at the village of Vik to take a stoll along the famous black beach. It was very windy and the waves crashed into the shore making it a desolate yet beautiful scene.

A close up of the beach

The black beach at Vik

And after a short stop at another waterfall, we were on our way back listening to our guide tell us about Icelandic trolls and elvelore. We finally staggered into bed around 11pm.

As usual, click on the album below to view it full screen (v reccomended).

Iceland Day 2 - Glaciers and Waterfalls

2011-10-17T12:49:00.000Z

The next day we were up at the crack of dawn (well 6 am anyway) to light streaming in through our windows. The days were still very long, even though it was September! We were to go for a glacier trek today and Sólheimajökull beckoned. We had booked the tour, Take a Walk on the Ice Side, with Icelandic Mountain Guides and it cost approx. 20900 ISK per person.

The tour bus was due to pick us up at around 8:30, and we were hanging out outside our apartment, when we met this German girl who was on the same tour as us. She complained quite vociferously about all the noise of the previous night (the partying went on till 3 am), and though we smiled sympathetically, we were were quite happy about how lively Reykjavik was. The tour bus picked us up and took us to the main bus stand where we transferred to the larger coach which was to take us to the glacier.

This part of the tour was conducted by Reykjavik Excursions, and it overlapped with their South Coast tour till we reached the lip of the Sólheimajökull glacier, where we would separate from the main group and go on the glacier trek, while they would continue onwards to the black beaches of Vik, and pick us up on their way back.

The lip of the Sólheimajökull

The tour guide (who's name I forget) was a native Icelander, who was passionate about his country and had a wealth of knowledge and lore at his fingertips. Unfortunately, he was not a natural storyteller, but for people who made the effort to listen, he was captivating. As we drove through Reykjavik, we learned how three fourths of the country's meager 300,000 odd people lived here, and how it was one of the cleanest greenest cities in the world. We also learnt about how Iceland was settled, and how Irish monks were coming there way before the Vikings. Iceland seems to have a lot of Ireland in it, with the Vikings often bringing back Irish women as concubines and slaves. the people of Iceland are thus as Irish as they are Viking, though they tend to pay down their Irish ancestry. As one person put it, the Icelanders are Viking when they're sober and Irish when they're drunk.

Just outside Reykjavik, we were driving thorough the fields of boulders covered by moss so characteristic to Iceland. There were lava fields which were fresh enough that no plants were able to settle but the moss. In the middle of this, a few miles outside Reykjavik, we saw a number of places billowing steam which marked the Hellisheiði geothermal power station, which utilised these natural hot steam vents to both generate power as well as supply Reykjavik with cheap hot water. I can attest to the fact that I was bathing in genuine geothermically heated hot water, as there is a distinct smell of sulphur as you turn on the shower.

We passed the small town of Selfoss and stopped about mid day for a quick bite and use of the facilities at a roadside cafe. After enjoying an Icelandic hot dog and some Skyr ( an Icelandic dessert of thickened yoghurt) we were soon off. Geologically speaking, Iceland is a fascinating place, and we could see a variety of landscapes, ranging for huge fields of black volcanic dust, mountains and cliffs twisted into a variety of bizarre shapes to lush green meadows.

Skyr with blueberries

However, behindthis amazing landscape is the constant threat of geological catastrophe;earthquakes, volcanoes, and volcano induced flash-floods. As we drove throughthe various newly restored portions of the road, this was brought home to us.

Finally, weturned off the road onto a dirt path, which took us to about a kilometre fromthe lip of the glacier. We got off the bus leaving behind the people who wouldcontinue on a south coast tour.

Here we met ourguides from Icelandic Mountain Guides, who started providing us with ice picksand crampons to fit on our hiking boots. As usual, it took Trigby (our guide)about 15 minutes to find crampons to fit my size 12 boots (and I thought theseVikings had big feet).

The Crampons

The cramponswere nasty pieces of work, and we had to be careful we didn't trip over our ownfeet and impale ourselves. All kitted up, we walked the remaining portion ofthe morainetill we reached a small stream. A quick skip over it, and we were on the ice!

Ice Picks

Navigating onice was not as tricky as I thought (it helped that the incline was gradual),but definitely needed some care as the ice was extremely slick. We weregrateful for our crampons, driving them into the ice at each step.

As we wenthigher, the terrain became more difficult, and Trigby had to cut out roughsteps for us in the ice. Climbing a narrow channel with deep crevasses oneither side took some nerve, but worse was to come on our way back.

After visitingsome spectacular ice caves we started our descent. Trigby took us on a circularroute, so we were going down a new path. Walking down was more difficult thangoing up, but we were up to the challenge. Or at least we were until we came tothe edge of a cliff. Well, I promptly turned around to walk back the way wecame, but looked back to see Trigby climbing down this narrow ridge with deepcrevasses on either side. It was around this point that our group collectivelyshat it's pants.

A beautiful ice cave

My camera, whichtill this point was slinging nonchalantly around my neck, was stowed in mybackpack, leaving both hands free to, as I imagined, wave goodbye as i fellinto the bowels of the earth. This was a shame, as the scenery at this pointwas stupendous. Of course, I would have preferred said scenery on a wallpaperon my laptop, as I couldn't appreciate it and control my bladder at the sametime.

Well, I inchedmy way down this 70 degree slope, slipped the last few feet, and jammed mycrampon into my foot ripping the leg of my pants. I think I got offlightly.

After giving mysmall toe a kings burial, we continued down where our bus was waiting to takeus home.

On the way back,we stopped a two beautiful waterfalls. Skógafoss,a huge waterfall with an amazingly pretty double rainbow around it, and Seljalandsfossa smaller waterfall, but one where you could actually walk behindthe falls.

Skógafoss

In the mist

Seljalandsfoss

Behind the waterfall

On the way back, we stopped at a farm that had been devastated by the Eyjafjallajökull volcano, and our guide explained how he was part of the huge effort to rescue the farm and clear it of vocanic ash. It was hard to believe how different it looked now.

Eyjafjallajökull in the background of the farm.

A picture of the eruption

And then it wasback to our apartment, for a well deserved snooze.

More pictures below. Click to take you to a bigger version -

Longleat Safari

2011-10-05T23:14:00.001Z

Longleat Safari, a set on Flickr.

Wild pictures

Iceland Day 1 - Smoky Bays

2011-09-25T11:55:00.003Z

When Ingólfur Arnarson chose Reykjavik as his permanent settlement in 870 AD, he was confronted by puffs of smoke dotting the land, which is why he called it Smoke Cove, or Reykjavik. These puffs were of course steam, and were indicative of the huge geologic engine running under Iceland, which both threatens Icelanders, as well as provides them with an abundance of clean green energy.

I can't imagine the Vikings were much more excited than I to see this new land though. As the bus passed the outskirts of Reykjavik, I had to readjust my mental picture of this small cute village to a much bigger gleaming metropolis. We changed at the BSI Bus Terminal to the local shuttle that was to take us to our hotel, and my impression of Reykjavik changed again.The city may be big, but it's central area (the one we tourists are concerned with) is cozy and compact. It's not a rural haven, but more like a ultra trendy mini city, with shops sporting designer labels, chic cafés, and trendy restaurants.

The main street, Laugavegur, is just one lane and teeming with pedestrians, and this was where our cab rolled down to drop us at our apartment in the ultra trendy Reykjavik 101 area.

Now a quick note about our accomodation. We had booked the 'Botique' studio serviced apartment in Apartment K. We were a bit nervous about this, as when we emailed the hotel, they said that the exact apartment may not be in the address we were told, and would be allocated only on our arrival. But our fears were soon put to rest - we were met at the street by Kathy, who was extremely helpful and made us feel right at home.

We were let in to the apartment which was just across the road, and when they said botique, boy did they mean it. It was done up in red and white, with one side of the apartment covered in windows. As you can see from the pictures it was extremely comfortable.

Kathy sat down with us and talked us through the main attractions in Reykjavik, especially pointing out the cool places to eat. She also gave us a crash course on Icelandic pronounciation - the J's were pronounced Y, the ð like th and the ll were pronounced a sorta guttral th.... to demonstrate which she proceeded to spit generously on the table.

After a while we decided to wander around the city, and also pick up a few groceries for the apartment, and also find the local liquor shop. Just for info, the local grocery shop is call Bonus, but there is also a shop called 1011 which stays open late. Alcohol can only be bought at Vinburen (a government owned liquir shop). As we were wandering around we got to see The Sun Voyager (Sólfar), by Jón Gunnar Árnason.

After grabbing some food, I went out at around 12 am to see the legendary Reykjavik nightlife, and it was just amazing to see this small street transformed. I also walked to the Hallgrímskirkja church to get a few pics of it lighted up.

View Iceland 2011 in a larger map

Visiting Ultima Thule

2011-09-20T19:55:00.004Z

In the past, in my mind, Iceland was this tiny island, covered with ice and snow and unremarkable in every way. A place where a few unfortunate people would have to live, but no sane person would visit. However, a couple of years back, Tanmay showed me some pictures of Iceland taken by a friend of his who had visited, and I was entranced. The place looked unearthly and unspoiled and raw; an exhibition of geology and nature unlike any other.

From that moment I was hooked.

I didn't think it would come to anything. . . we did our usual touristy trips to Amsterdam, Paris, Spain; the list goes on. But Iceland was always there hovering at the back of my mind.

Well, a few days back we finally touched down in Keflavik airport. It's about a three and a half flight from Gatwick, so it's not too far. Iceland is a bit to the west, so it's an hour behind us. The first surprise I got was to see a big Iron Maiden logo on our plane. We were actually on the plane used for the Iron Maiden 2011 tour!

It was a fine bright day and the Atlantic shone a brilliant blue. Soon we were flying over Iceland towards Keflavik, and the first thing that struck me was how barren and deserted it all was. There were just a few scattered buildings surrounded with masses of boulders. I was soon to learn a lot of Iceland was covered with these kind of boulders and it was typical to certain types of cooling lava.

A few minutes later, we even got a glimpse of the blue lagoon, enveloped by clouds of steam.

And soon, we touched down in Keflavik International Airport. Immigration was a breeze; they looked at my visa for all of two seconds before stamping it. The airport is pretty small, and in a few minutes we were out.

I'm gonna try and keep these series of posts pretty crisp, just including information to help you get an idea of the place, in case you want to go there yourself.

So, Keflavik Airport is about 50 kilometers from Reykjavik. You could get a Taxi, but you can also buy tickets for Flybus (http://www.re.is/Flybus//) which will take you to the BSI terminal or Flybus Plus, which will shuttle you from the BSI Bus Terminal to a list of locations around the city (or even the more popular hotels). It makes sense to buy a return ticket (4500 IKR) if you plan to go back the same way.

The bus journey to Reykjavik basically consisted of an hour long drive through lots of old lava fields. The landscape were dotted with these weird sculptures - boulders balanced on each other to look like men, women or children. I never found out about their significance.

Soon we were driving along the coast, and in the distance was the collection of buildings that was Reykjavik.

Our Weirdly Wonderful Wedding

2010-11-15T14:26:00.001Z

Visit http://www.owww-vns.com/ and sign our guestbook!!

Life

2010-10-06T21:45:00.000Z

A crust of bread and a corner to sleep in,
A minute to smile and an hour to weep in,
A pint of joy to a peck of trouble,
And never a laugh but the moans come double;
And that is life!

A crust and a corner that love makes precious,
With a smile to warm and the tears to refresh us;
And joy seems sweeter when cares come after,
And a moan is the finest of foils for laughter;
And that is life!

Paul Laurence Dunbar

My Life is a Comic- Part Deux

2010-10-03T05:04:00.001Z

Well, you probably haven’t read my earlier post - My life is a Comic - pt 1. Go check it out, as this is the long delayed continuation.

Having seen The Dark Knight (twice!) in the theatres, I have to say, the movie is great and all, but how will people who don't know about Batman; who don't appreciate the subtle play between the Batman and Joker and Gordon and Dent really *get* it? To be quite honest, a lot of the people around me wouldn't know their Poison Ivy from Harley Quinn. In fact, I've oft heard the opinion, from some of my sadder friends, that reading comics is for kids. The people are invariable those who only read books like 'Who Moved My Cheese', and get to hear of stuff like Sin City or Hellboy when a movie is made of it. Quick Tip- If you’re reading self help books, you’re doing it wrong.

When I was in the sixth grade I moved to a new school, St Pauls in Kota, Rajasthan. I stayed there till seventh, before moving to a new school. St Pauls was, in many ways, one of my worst schools. I never performed really badly, but I was a lackadaisical student; daydreaming in a class which seemed, to me at least, to be full of the most detestable collection of little sneaks that I'd ever seen. I can still remember those little rotters - 'Sir! Viren's sleeping in class!' or "Ma'am, Viren's trying to look down your blouse again!". I hope they burn in hell! The teacher's too were quite god-awful, except for our maths teacher who taught us geometry by taking us out to the school field and making us measure and calculate the volume, diameter and radii of various objects like tree trunks, car tyres and so on. And of course, Miss Sehgal, who taught us physics, and on whom I had an aching crush. Of course, by the time I started paying attention in class, answering questions, and finally catching her attention, it was time to move on to a new place and a new school.

So, not surprisingly, surrounded by people whom I would rather not associate with, I became a bit of a loner. Instead of spending my lunch breaks scuffling in the dirt with the rest of the plebes, I used to retire with my tiffin to the library. And what a library it was. To me it was a regular treasure trove of books and comics which I used to devour with lunch. It was here I encountered many a hitherto unknown comic, such as Strawberry Shortcake(okay, okay! I enjoyed it at the time). Try as I might, I cannot remember the names of the other comics I read, but I do recall some were mighty weird. And cool! Okay, having typed that I decided to google around, and found two more comics I loved at the time. The first was Peter Porker, the Spectacular Spider-Ham. Heh, No it’s totally not a joke.

And then there was Planet Terry, this supercool scifi comic. I totally need to search these out!

This library was where I discovered Edgar Rice Burroughs, and spent many a lunch deep in the jungles of Africa. The librarian was a nice man, and quite handy with arts and crafts. I was especially inspired by his money plant holder made out of a bulb, and resolved to make one for my mum on her birthday. I was quite pleased with the result, but my mother not so much when she discovered I had broken about thirty-six working bulbs before I found one that was suitable.

Moving on, Nainital was when I grew interested in comic strips. I collected the daily Garfield and Hagar from the paper. I continued with my Archies, and the occasional superhero comics. Batman was always my favourite, but Superman and the JLA would do in a pinch.

Coimbatore was where I found a reasonably steady source of comics in the form of a modestly small but well stocked (and probably illegal) lending library called Choose and Read. I managed to get hold of the Batman Knightfall and Knightquest series; however the issues I got were later on in the series after Bane had broken Batman's back. I was quite shocked by all the changes; Batman retired.. Robin murdered.. Batgirl shot and paralysed! And the redesign of the Bat’s costume (see left)! In fact all the DC comics I picked up we strangely confused. Superman was killed, Lex Luthor was batting for the good side now and Batman had a son with Talia Al Ghul? A lot (but not all) of this confusion was due to stories set in alternate earths. and then DC had this major reboot with a series called Crisis on Multiple Earths, which I have not understood till now.

Marvel was a bit better with Spiderman as entertaining as ever, but more and more I began eschewing the fantastic four and Captain America for new comics abut these gang of mutants known as the Xmen. The XMen were a great hit and thousands of mutants (or metahumans as DC called them) started popping up all over comics. They’ve become a bit overused now, and it seems that Marvel’s writer just invent characters on whim. How about Maggot, Jazz or Zeitgeist? And often, I feel Marvel introduced female characters just coz they wanted to see how skimpy a outfit they could fit their heroines into before their comics started getting shrink wrapped and placed in the ‘adult’ shelves. Take a look at this, if you don’t believe me.

Like a review by R. Fiore goes -

Being physically invulnerable and endowed with gnarly powers, their clothing need have no practical value aside from the practice of exhibitionism. They are attired in one of three ways: Scantily clad, partially nude, and almost completely nude. If they were going to church, they would wear tight trousers and leather jackets. The simpleminded viewer might conclude they are dressing simply to please men. This would be wrong-headed. Their dedication to self-exposure is as pure, selfless and inner-directed as the vocation of the most devout monk.

Okay, so I totally get where they are coming from. That’s why I put all those pics above. Hey, I DO want more people in here!

Anyways, next time anyone asks you Marvel or DC, you know the right answer. It’s DC all the way baby.

Okay, so this post has stretched a bit longer than expected. I will be back with more…

A Wedding Card from the heart.

2010-09-30T07:01:00.001Z

And she thought her in-laws didn't love her.

Bom Sabado!

2010-09-25T11:00:00.003Z

WTF is Bom Sabado?

This may help.

Car Pool

2010-09-19T08:57:00.001Z

Oh, I just crack myself up.

Earthquake!

2010-09-17T19:35:00.002Z

Okay, it's like 1 am, 18th Sep 2010, Delhi India. Lying in my bed pleasantly buzzed, watching Harold and Kumar when I feel this rocking. So either I'm more buzzed than I thought or there was just an earthquake. Nothing on the news as yet... lets see.

Mind you, I'm not discounting that the few whiskey sours I had we more potent than expected!

Update - Seems there WAS an EQ... the blogosphere and twitter bear me out. Newschannels still to pick it up. Apparently the glenfidditch wasn't as strong as I thought!

The Path

2010-09-15T12:25:00.000Z

This is based on a true story.

Sweat poured down my brow, and into my eyes blinding me. I was in a trench, my breath inside my faceplate loud in my ears. It was a bright and sunny day, but the light struggled through the thick foliage, and all that reached us was a dim ambient glow with only a few rays breaking through and dappling the ground.

The undergrowth was wet and a light mist snaked around my ankles. Twisted roots churned in the mud, like pythons frozen in the act of copulating. The stillness of the forest was disorienting; it was hard to believe there were others like me silently creeping through it.

"Clear the path!” they told me. Even if it cost me my life, I had to clear the path!

Drawing a deep breath, I risked a quick peek out of the trench, but quickly ducked back down as a volley of shots sprayed mud a few inches from my face. This was ridiculous; I had to move forward - they were depending on me.

But we were pinned down by enemy fire. They were swarming everywhere and four snipers had entrenched themselves in front of us. I looked at my mates on my right in the underbrush. A nod, and we were in agreement; we started inching our self forward, wriggling through the mud and the foliage.

It was nerve-wracking business. And the guy on the right couldn't take it. He broke. With a sudden yell, he bolted from his shelter, and within a few steps, was gunned down, his body jerking as several bullets tore into him. But his sacrifice was not in vain. We had placed the enemy positions, and in a sudden surge we cleared all five of them out.

Elated, I bounded forward; when like a deadly jack in the box an enemy trooper shot out from around a curve in the trench, and fired a spray of bullets at me. I flattened myself against the wall of the trench and watched as shots whizzed past. I fired a few shots around the corner to distract the trooper up ahead, and then scrambled a few feet back to safety.

My visor was misted up and I could smell my own fear. So this was what war was like. I felt utterly drained, as though I had been running for miles. Only adrenaline was keeping me going now. I looked at my mate sniping from the bushes to my right. He shrugged helplessly; the enemy was too well hidden in the trench and he couldn't draw a bead on him.

I crawled forward a few paces only to fall flat as a volley of shots whizzed around my head. I had to clear the path; we were running out of time. I knew what I had to do.

My breath was echoing in my ears and the cold stone of fear was heavy in my stomach. I crouched silent for a second and then I was off; running down the trench firing a hail of bullets. He waited till I was almost on top of him. I rounded the corner and almost thought the trench was empty, when he stood up and shot me down point blank. But, as I fell backward into the mud, I saw the cruel smile on his face change to shock as red bloomed on the front of his jacket. He had given away his position to the sniper on the right.

I had done it; the path was clear.

Epilogue - We lay for a minute in the mud, till we heard the whistle. I grabbed the enemy trooper by the hand and hoisted him up. The paintball game was over. My team had captured the flag.

Baby got Back

2010-09-12T18:12:00.002Z

I know, right? WTH was he doing for a year? Sleeping? A coma? Perhaps he decided to unplug himself from the interwebs.

Well, conjecture no more. It's time to share a deep darke secret about myself; a secret which will explaim the tragic story of my year long hiatus; a sordid secret which will shake the foundations of your reality. No, it's not that I dress as a obsessive compulsive superhero every full moon and solve crimes involving geriatric penguins. It's just this - I'm Lazy. Note the capital L.

This is not simple lethargy folks. I have elevated ennui to an art form. Much like the Mona Lisa, my lazyness looks out at the world with an enigmatic smile.

And now that's cleard up, lets move on. I have resolved to start posting again, though, of course, my words are not worth the the htm that renders them. I got a few queries about when I'm going to start posting again. . . got a few ideas percolating. Lets see how long I can keep it up.

I've been getting quite a few views on some posts; unfortunately these are on those post which are most derivative (containing plaigarised content, in other words). Depression Dog's V day and Baww seem to be up there. Also, MDTL seems to have been discovered by spammers. If I were to take them up on their offers, I'd be sitting in a casino, wearing jewellery, sporting a massive errection with my herpes all cleared up.

By far the most hilarious of these are, and I quote,

HELP! I’m currently being held prisoner by the Russian mafia xyzrxyz [url=http://www.buypenisenlargement.com]penis enlargement[/url] xyzrxyz and being forced to post spam comments on blogs and forum! If you don’t approve this they will kill me. xyzrxyz [url=http://www.male-sexual-styles.com]penis enlargement[/url] xyzrxyz They’re coming back now. xyzrxyz [url=http://pills.buypenisenlargement.com]vimax[/url] xyzrxyz Please send help! nitip [url=http://www.male-sexual.com/vimax-pills.html]vimax[/url]

I can just imagine the poor bloke, battered, bruised and chained to the table, forced to spam a neverending procession of no-account blogs. That just moves me to tears that does.

I've also been making a few tweaks to the layout and colours of the page; hope you like them. Colours tend to look much more vivid on my glossy RGBLED than others, so I apologise in advance if everything looks washed out on your screens.

Wow! So that's like two posts in as many days. Maybe I AM turning over a new leaf. Eh. . . or maybe not. See you in a year folks!

Rage against the Page

2010-09-12T03:46:00.000Z

So, they've finally decided facebook users are narcissistic and attention hos (link). Big surprise. Lately facebook seems like it's like one of those reality shows that is so horrid and rage inducing that it's actually addictive. So nowadays I scroll through my feed cringing a bit waiting for the next rage inducing post.

I now know how I'm gonna go - face down in front of the laptop with a massive brain haemorrhage; a facebook feed exploring the hitherto unplumbed depths of human idiocy opened up.

Let us explore this theme. One genius says "lts g n c hw muc ppl luaaaaaaaved her.... ws at th 2320 sho..... she s sooooo fukkhhin ht...she lft t the car l8er". It's as though, via some weird alchemy, vowels have been transplanted by a Dr. Frankenstein with some sort of motor neuron disease. How busy can you be to type ’t’ instead of 'to', dude?

And then of course we have the mandatory farmville updates - Thorne has planted a ear of corn; Karthik has lent a ladder out; Julia has screwed the neighbour's pig...

And lady, it's nice to see a few pictures of your kid, but I don't need to see every stage of their development. I don't care if they're cute, all babies look like Walter Matthau anyway. Besides, do you think you may be invading their privacy a little bit? The net, and especially Facebook ain't exactly safe, y'know. There ARE sites like flickr or picasa where you can direct those pictures to relevant people.

And then of course there are the lurkers. People who stalk their old friends to they can compare lives - 'Oh his job probably sucks', 'She’s looking good but she's probably just a slut. Look at how short that skirt is.'. Do you have to judge the standards of your life in comparision with others?

And of course, there are the bitter old men who spew anger, about facebook, but still check it every day. What? No! I don't mean ME!

Of course, these are just the bumblers and Clouseau's of the online world. There are more insidious fiends - the attention hos who update their status every few hours, copied from somewhere likely as not. They are usually followed by a gaggle of acolytes with such pithy and deep affirmations - OMG tht's sooo trueee. . . you rock babe. . . I agree with everything you write, on the off chance you'll let me in your pants. (Okay, so the last person does have a genuine reason. . . I mean getting into someone's pants is definitely worth acting the retard).

And you, my long lost classmate from school who's just gushing about how nice it is to catch up; Newsflash! You weren't my friend in school; you were a wanker then and, in all probablity, are a prime wanker now. Let’s just agree to not know each other... ever.

But this is just the beginning. The truly apocalyptic thing about Facebook is that it has provided a convenient place for all these retards to communicate. What will happen when they actually meet and, god forbid, mate? What then, Mr. Zuckerberg? Answer me that.

We'll have a generation of kids going 'Lol, jstin Beeberz is so freeking the coolrz. omg w b2hatt'. And that’s when a vengeful god will finally lose it and sweep us off the face of the planet.

But hey, at least I'll get to say I told you so.

So people, let take the time to fill in those vowels; no matter how much the temptation, let us resist the urge to type 'z' in place of 's'. No, it's not 'zexy'. And finally all you cotton-brained freaks out there, let’s not seek affirmation by your vacuous updates every few hours. No, you will NOT feel better even if a bunch of your bubble head friends think that your status is the height of wit. If you really want to feel good about yourself I'd strongly advise you to have a romp in the hay with some, or even all of them.

And now my vitriolic diatribe is done, if you'll excuse me I'll pop off and try to get into someone's pants - this should work ' OMG, your post is the funnest EVAR'.

Disclaimer: Okay, the intent of this post is humor rather than vitriol. No one really conforms to these stereotypes (I hope).

Happy Holidays!

2009-12-27T18:51:00.000Z

Happy Birthday Dost!

2009-10-08T09:42:00.002Z

To Shazzer.. who is still my friend even though she didn't get my CDs!

Vivacious, vibrant, loyal and fun, it's been a blast knowing you. Here's to another foot in the grave!

Shweta & Viren

Its for the birds

2009-08-01T19:49:00.001Z

The birds in and around my home in Coimbatore.

The Duckworth Lewis Method rocks!

2009-07-31T14:53:00.001Z

Princes and lawyers played with the English elite
Years of repression started a noise from the streets

CHORUS:
The age of revolution, the age of revolution
from Bangalore to Kingston, the age of revolution
Go and get your pads on, take your place in the sun
from Bangalore to Kingston, the age of revolution
It's the age of revolution... It's the age of revolution

Mankad in Madras, but suddenly Sunil is king.
Kids in the valleys, bats bound together with string, oh yeah!

"Time to take the new ball, the dollars and the rubles.
Stormont to the Oval, we're all going global."

CHORUS
It's the age of revolution... It's the age of revolution
It's the age of revolution... It's the age of revolution

Here's to the future, Punjab and Tamil Nadu.
Always remember the passion of '32, oh yeah, yeah!

"Always denied entry by the English gentry.
Now we're driving Bentley's playing 20/20"

CHORUS 2x

The Duckworth Lewis Method

Bawww

2009-05-24T06:05:00.002Z

Okay. It’s epic bawww time now thanks to my friends at /b/.

So lets start you off with some tear-worthy pics -

As I’ve been telling my friend about guys…

And finally… most epic of all

Let’s continue the tearfest with our favourite children's book - Robert Munsch’s ‘Love You Forever’.

Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.

And if you were able to sit dry eyed through that (you heartless bastard)… this should get you bawwwing.

Ignis

2009-04-27T18:37:00.002Z

After trolling Connaught Place for two hours trying to find Dv8 (apparently a great pub), we finally settled for Ignis bar and restaurant, mostly because we could see some muted orange ufo-esque lights shining through its huge windows. I had my misgivings, as I didn't find much information while googling it on my iPhone, and they were justified when we walked in, as only one other table was occupied.

However, the ambiance was pretty decent. Besides the afore mentioned UFO lights,there was a wall of flickering lamps, and best of all, a panoramic view of CP and it's park (was not too hard to get a window seat considering it was empty). Nevertheless, I nearly got out and left, as after I was seated the waiter whispered in my ear, 'No hot drinks, sir. We haven't got our liquor license!'. However, we were tired, and the seats were comfortable, so we shrugged and said what the hell.

From outside, you would be forgiven for thinking Ignis would serve european cusine, but make no mistake, Ignis is a hard core Indian restaurant. They may have tried to diversify the menu a bit, (and you'll find a bruchetta platter and bacon stuffed chicken breast in there), but most of the menu is taken up by a variety of Indian food. And the food is quite good!

The first thing that struck us were the portions - which were quite small. But the food was tasty, and quite unique. The Chettinad mutton pepper fry was extremely spicy and succulent, while the marthaba ka meat was tangy and tasty. However, the onion and garlic pilaf and the chilli parathas left much to be desired. I finally wound up with a Kulfi which tasted like frozen milkmaid condensed milk; but's that was not a problem, coz I freakin' love milkmaid.

So, in conclusion, stay away from Ignis, unless you love UFOs. Or freakin' milkmaid.

/b/

2009-04-17T22:23:00.001Z

Depression Dog’s V Day

2009-02-14T18:23:00.001Z

Well, I was trolling 4chan and here are some depression dog jpegs just for you sad lonely people on V Day. Enjoy and relate.

Marriage ala TRex

2009-02-11T18:10:00.000Z

The Rooftops of Norwich

2009-02-08T08:21:00.001Z

I got the scars to remind me

Of watching the clocks go round
I've walked myself through somedays
That have put me where I am

In another time, In another place
All things might have been in place
But for now, I'm finding myself
Out here standing on a rooftop screaming

Hey world, are you listening?
Listening to me?
I'm here and I'm hurting
To begin again

It's another time, it's another place
We are making moral pace
But for now I'm finding myself
Out here standing on my doorstep screaming

Hey world, are you listening?
Listening to me?
I'm here and I'm hurting
To begin again

Hey world, I'm ready to listen
And learn something new
I'm here and I'm willing
To get myself though

A Brand New Day

2009-01-25T16:16:00.001Z

The Hag that Is

2009-01-23T08:05:00.001Z

Is there that owre his French ragout,
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad mak her spew
Wi' perfect sconner,
Looks down wi' sneering, scornfu' view
On sic a dinner? -- Robert Burns

Fireworks

2009-01-20T15:48:00.001Z

Men are from Mars... Women are from Crazy.

2009-01-19T12:04:00.002Z

The man in the moon.

2008-12-15T02:49:00.001Z

The moon was the closest to the earth in 15 years last weekend. It was 15% bigger and 35% brighter than normal. (http://lifehacker.com/5109010/photograph-the-biggest-full-moon-in-15-years-tonight). Well, so I photographed it.

Ze Poopies!

2008-11-22T06:08:00.000Z

Haloween Special - The Rhythm

2008-11-02T15:58:00.003Z

MDTL is proud to present our latest guest blogger - DarkeArun, who brings us a twisted tale of horror and perversion. Without further ado..

The Rhythm:

You did it. Finally. Its all over. Its the kind of feeling you see at the end of a good horror movie. You look around. This is the moment everyone has been fighting for. But they all looked too exhausted. You decide to get some rest. So you say goodnights and go to your room with a new sense - a sense of freedom. You get your beer and play your favorite NiN songs in your computer. Then you lie back on the chair and fall asleep almost instantly. A big mistake.

Few minutes go by. Then you feel it. The same feeling that was haunting everyone for years. Something is waking you up. You knew what would happen if you wake up and turn around; you will see what you never wanna see. You are scared again. But you stay asleep and almost ignore it. After a while it stops. A moment of silence. While you are still trying to make your mind for your next move, it strikes back. This time it almost feels like an electric pulse is passing right through you. From your left to right. You even hear the buzz. You feel the wave. The rhythm. The rhythm that kills. But you stay strong and do not move. Few seconds pass and it stops. Silence. You hold on tight with your eyes still closed. You know its gonna hit back and you know its gonna hit back real bad. You hear screams from the other rooms. You try to remember where you left your transposer. Too late. You are hit again. And this time with a real strong force. It freezes you. You have no control. You scream. And then....you open your eyes. It twists you back and forth real fast in the chair. It feels worse than a roller coaster ride. You try to see, but its all so dark. You just keep screaming. Then almost instantly everything stops. And you just drop on your table. You open your eyes again. You see the progress bar moving from 99% to 100%. Then you see the word that haunts you for the rest of your life - MDTL.

Happy Halloween!

Top 100 Scifi books

2008-10-31T08:58:00.001Z

http://home.austarnet.com.au/petersykes/topscifi/lists_books_rank1.html

How many have you read?

Happy Diwali 2008

2008-10-28T03:40:00.000Z

In support of Raj Thackeray...

2008-10-24T07:44:00.003Z

A forward I got.

We all should support Raj Thackeray and take his initiative ahead by doing more...

1. We should teach our kids that if he is second in class, don't study harder.. just beat up the student coming first and throw him out of the school

2. Parliament should have only Delhi-ites as it is located in Delhi

3. Prime-minister, president and all other leaders should only be from Delhi

4. No Hindi movie should be made in Bombay. Only Marathi.

5. At every state border, buses, trains, flights should be stopped and staff changed to local men

6. All Maharashtrians working abroad or in other states should be sent back as they are SNATCHING employment from Locals

7. Lord Shiv, Ganesha and Parvati should not be worshipped in our state as they belong to north (Himalayas)

8. Visits to Taj Mahal should be restricted to people from UP only

9. Relief for farmers in Maharashtra should not come from centre because that is the money collected as Tax from whole of India, so why should it be given to someone in Maharashtra?

10. Let's support Kashmiri Militants because they are right in killing and injuring innocent people for the benefit of their state and community..

11. Let's throw all MNCs out of Maharashtra, why should they earn from us? We will open our own Maharashtra Microsoft, MH Pepsi and MH Marutis of the world

12. Let's stop using cellphones, emails, TV, foreign Movies and dramas. James Bond should speak Marathi

13. We should be ready to die hungry or buy food at 10 times higher price but should not accept imports from other states

14. We should not allow any industry to be set-up in Maharashtra because all machinery comes from outside

15. We should STOP using local trains... Trains are not manufactured by Marathi manoos and Railway Minister is a Bihari

16. Ensure that all our children are born, grow, live and die without ever stepping out of Maharashtra, then they will become true Marathi's

JAI MAHARASHTRA!

The Russell Peters

2008-10-20T06:15:00.001Z

Okay. Russell Peters is live at Siri Fort Delhi on the 29th. Book your tickets at ticketpro.in now! For those not in the know Russell is a knee-slappingly, roll in the aisle inducingly, fantastic comedian.

Banned!

2008-10-19T05:24:00.001Z

You might wan to check this out. A list of the Top 100 Banned/Challenged Books in 2000-2007.

Banned!

2008-10-19T05:24:00.000Z

You might wan to check this out. A list of the Top 100 Banned/Challenged Books in 2000-2007.

Greetings with a Smile

2008-10-09T10:44:00.003Z

MDTL is proud to present our very first guest blogger, DarkeRose. Here is her first post -

Say not the struggle nought availeth,
the labour and the wounds are vain,
The enemy faint not, nor faileth,
And as things have been, things remain.

If hopes were dupes, fears may be liars;
It may be, in yon smoke concealed,
your comrades chase e'en now the fliers,
And, but for you possess the field.

For while the tired waves, vainly breaking,
Seem here no painful inch to gain,
Far back through creeks and inlets making
Came, silent flooding in the main.

And not by eastern windows only,
When daylight comes, comes in the light,
In front the sun climbs slow, how slowly
But westward look, the land is bright.
ARTHUR HUGH CLOUGH.

Greeting the morning with a smile.

We used to have a cheap blue alarm clock which we acquired early in our marriage after we realised that our body clocks were just not doing their job after a late night of partying. It served us well through the years. Only now and then would we fail to wake up to its dulcet tones. On those days I and my better half (worse half on those days) would miraculously find ourselves on our feet with staring eyes and hair on end screaming at each other for not hearing the alarm. Then there would be a mad rush for the loo, sometimes in the wrong direction. While doing the job and going through Femina's tips on how to greet the morning with a smile, I would be interrupted by a pounding on the bathroom door and a voice asking frantically where the sugar was for the tea he was making. Grumblingly I'd crack the door sarcastically asking if this was a hotel or what that he didn’t know where things were kept. Then I would give directions that the sugar was in the cupboard whose keys were in the other cupboard whose keys were in the--------. This exercise was a painfully failing attempt on my behalf to curb the pilfering activities of my maid servant, who invariably when I lost them would hand them to me with a smirk. Hence the continuous change of hiding places. Finally after the keys were found, he would make his way to the kitchen, but not before passing snide remarks on senility and Alzheimers. I would go back to what I was doing hastily. No time to peruse through that article now!

Nowadays we wake up to the ring of a brand new alarm clock, which has come all the way from Disney land, Paris and was presented to us by our son. Its ring in the morning is enough to wake up the dead. Its ring is also a cue for me to cower under the bedclothes as I see my sleeping partner flail his arms searching for the clock and bringing crashing down all the doodahs with the vase of flowers I had placed on the headboard following another mags advice on how to spice up your bedroom life. In the ensuing silence I'm asked, ’Where did you say the old blue clock was?' I mumble something about senility and Alzheimer’s and turn over.

Answer

2008-10-03T07:35:00.001Z

I'm publishing New Scientist's best Sci-Fi short story below . . .

Fredric Brown, "Answer"

Dwan Ev ceremoniously soldered the final connection with gold. The eyes of a dozen television cameras watched him and the subether bore throughout the universe a dozen pictures of what he was doing.
He straightened and nodded to Dwar Reyn, then moved to a position beside the switch that would complete the contact when he threw it. The switch that would connect, all at once, all of the monster computing machines of all the populated planets in the universe -- ninety-six billion planets -- into the supercircuit that would connect them all into one supercalculator, one cybernetics machine that would combine all the knowledge of all the galaxies.
Dwar Reyn spoke briefly to the watching and listening trillions. Then after a moment's silence he said, "Now, Dwar Ev."
Dwar Ev threw the switch. There was a mighty hum, the surge of power from ninety-six billion planets. Lights flashed and quieted along the miles-long panel.
Dwar Ev stepped back and drew a deep breath. "The honor of asking the first question is yours, Dwar Reyn."
"Thank you," said Dwar Reyn. "It shall be a question which no single cybernetics machine has been able to answer."
He turned to face the machine. "Is there a God?"
The mighty voice answered without hesitation, without the clicking of a single relay.
"Yes, now there is a God."
Sudden fear flashed on the face of Dwar Ev. He leaped to grab the switch.
A bolt of lightning from the cloudless sky struck him down and fused the switch shut.
--

MDTL Tutorials - iPhone 2.1

2008-10-01T03:30:00.001Z

Viren Joky's

Guide to Upgrading, Jailbreaking and Unlocking your iPhone 2G

Iphone Pwned

2008-09-26T18:39:00.000Z

Dude.. I did it! iPhone 2.1 running fine. Jailbroken and unlocked!

MDTL Tutorials - Fedora and XP

2008-09-26T08:59:00.000Z

Well the Google Docs publishing is shite, so link here for

Viren Joky's

Quick and Dirty guide to dual booting Windows with Fedora 9 (Sulphur)

Blog Publishing from Google Docs

2008-09-16T09:22:00.002Z

Okay, just below this post, you will see a large unwieldy tutorial on how to use BitTorrent. I had created it on Google Docs for a friend, and thought I'd publish it on my blog. For people not in the know, Google Docs allows you to publish your document directly on your blog. On the Share button on the right, hit 'Publish At Web Page', change your blog site settings, and hit Post.

However, as you can see below, the formatting is shite. It looks slightly better as a published web page, but my graphics have lost their black backgrounds surprisingly enough, so they dont look as cool.

Update: Yeah, its apparently just IE6 which displays the icons like crap. FF is working just fine

2008-09-16T08:43:00.000Z

Viren Joky's

BitTorrent for Dummies

Okay, you've heard a lot about this torrent thing; supposedly the next great thing in file sharing <read pirating>. But, you have no idea of how to go about accessing it's power. In other words the last word of the title describes you to a T. Hey, if the shoe fits...

Well here's my simple 5 step guide to getting on the torrent bandwagon and achieving download nirvana. Okay, so it may not be 5 steps. At this point I'm not sure of the number of steps it'll take.

How to read this guide -

Step to be followed My recommendations The mechanics behind it (Don't read this if you don't want to) Links to resources Warning! And this one because it just looks cool!

Here we go -

Download a BitTorent Client

I personally use BitComet, but that's probably not the best client. uTorrent is supposed to be good, and it's really light on resources (I'm trying it out now), or try Azureus for a full featured download.

Here's a list of torrent clients

Install it. No explanations here.

You might want to allow it to associate with your .torrent (the BitTorrent format) files automatically.

You may want to configure the upload and download speeds here. Okay, this is gunna be a bit technical. Torrents are based on sharing. That means every time you are downloading a file, your torrent client automatically starts to upload that part of the file you have downloaded. You can change or reduce the upload speed in your preferences. Why not reduce your upload speed to zero, you ask me? Well, besides the fact that its good to contribute to the pool of uploaders, torrent clients are built in such a way that restricts your download speed based on your upload speed. So why not make your upload speed max? Because that will seep your bandwidth! A comfortable middle ground should be reached.

Now go on-line and search for a good torrent site.

I like Torrentz.com which index a huge list of sites. Best of all, it doesn't index porn. Okay, so that's a huge negative, but you can use Pornorip or Torrentspy to look for that

List of popular torrents sites.

Use the search facility to locate what you want - just type in some keywords.

For example - this is what you get if you search for 'Year of the dog' on Mininova -

As you can see, a list of torrents are displayed here. Make sure its what you want before downloading, or Year of the Dog may just turn out to be an extreme bestiality vid. Uh, unless that's what you're looking for. Hey, I'm not here to judge. It's just that you're a filthy pervert. That's all I'm saying. And it's not often I get a change to call somebody else this.

Okay, so you can see several matching torrents. Which one do you pick? Simple answer - the one with the most seeders (or Seeds, or S, or even health).

Like I said above, every person downloading a file is also uploading it to some extent. And some people are just uploading it out of the goodness of their hearts. All the people who are uploading the file are called seeders. Anyhoo, the more people uploading, the more likely is it for you to get a faster download, and the less likely it is for your file to stop in between. Usually at 99% which proves Murphy's law and provoke me to extreme violence.

Also, you may want to choose the link which has the least downloaders or Leechers. Obviously, the less people who are hogging up the bandwidth of the seeders, the more bandwidth is there for you to hog. On the other hand, the more people that leeching the file, the more likely is it to be the genuine article.

Click on the download torrent link. You will be asked to save/open the file, which will have the ext .torrent. If you've associated your torrent client with this type of file, you can open it directly. Or you can save the torrent onto your hard disk (it's a small file; just a few kb). And then open it with your client of choice.

Actually the .torrent file is just a link to the tracker, which keeps information of the people who are uploading the file. The client uses this information to connect to them and establish P2P connections to get the files.

And that's it. You're done and well on your way to accumulating masses of porn.. er legitimate files. Now may be a good time to buy that external 1 Tb hdd you were thinking about.

-Viren

Have sex NOW. The world ends at 1pm.(or maybe not)

2008-09-10T06:12:00.002Z

Well, the large Hardon.. er Hadron collider will be switched on around 12:30 pm Indian time. And of course, we don't believe in CERN's safety nonsense. Heres how it'll go..

In about 3 minutes it'll have produced Strangelets and Vaccum Bubbles and Magnetic Monopoles.

At 7 minutes , scientists will discover the God Particle (even more fantastic than the Jesus phone) and will almost instantly come up with the Grand Unified Theory which will be so magnificent, so stupendous, that scientists, at a flash will understand how to achieve faster than light travel, solve global warming, and even make Sarah Palin VP.

Just past 9 minutes, a stable black hole will be created which absorbs enough matter to be self sustaining.

Ten seconds past this the event horizon will overtake Earth.

In twenty minutes, the black hole will crash into the sun, extinguishing it. Jupiter has already been swallowed and Neptune will be spiralling into the hole.

One hour later, the solar system does not exist.

So, my advice is; grab your towel and hitch a quick ride from a passing Volgon ship. The end of the solar system should be quite a spectacular sight seen from a couple of light days away.

Update - apparently today was just a test run. We have till Oct 21.

Strangely Appropriate.

2008-09-09T12:58:00.000Z

The science of sleep

2008-09-09T09:25:00.001Z

I'm having a tough time keeping my eyes open right now. Even Feeder streaming on the last.fm app on my iPhone is not helping. Nor is the cup of murky water which passes for coffee round here. Maybe it was due to a really late night yesterday. Following a late dinner, my friend stuffed her face with the bday cake I had received from office. Unfortunately, this cake had eggs... and guess what; my friend's allergic.

Within minutes, her face had swollen up to epic propotions. She refused to look on the bright side - that the swelling had eliminated the bags under her eyes at least. So at around 12 am we drove to the nearest hospital to get some allergy pills. Since we were around there, we decided to show her to the doc. In a few minutes this doc wanders in, obviously still groggy with sleep. So he goes into the curtained enclosure and started asking my friend questions.

Now my friend is a total fraud indian, and when the doc asked her to show her 'jeeb' (which means tongue in Hindi), she started unbuttoning her shirt. Okay I kid, I kid, but she kept speaking in English, and the doc, apparently not comfortable with the language, decide to come out and talk to me, as the obvious person in charge (NO I do NOT look old enough to be her father). Well, as I suspected, he just prescribed some Avil and Allegra, though he did want to give her a shot; which I was quite keen on too. But madam was too skittish, so we dropped the plan.

He did tell me, though, to take a long hard look at her face so I could make sure the swelling didn't increase, which cracked us all up. We reached back at 1 with no further incident; I still suspect the 'allergic swelling' was nothing more than fat from all the cake hogging that had no place else to go.

However I stayed up even later, as I was in the midst of installing Fedora 9 on my laptop. Yes; if you've read my post 'A Tragic Gap', you'll know my XPS died a horrible and painful death. Dell have however, been most impressive, and they replaced my hdd and dvd drive (which was acting up too) within the week. So yeah, my laptop is resurrected, and I'm in the best phase... installing new apps. I simply love fresh installs, the smell and feel of a fresh OS gets me all sweaty and excited.

To start off, I installed XP on a 15gb partition, leaving the rest of the disk unallocated. Now I know people who don't bother to partition, and to them I say 'Repent!' My partitioning strategy is to use a smaller partition for XP, and other essential software like an antivirus. The rest of my programs are installed into the next contiguous partition, and the rest of the space is partitioned to store my Media, Pictures, Games and Downloads in separate partitions leaving about 15Gb for a Linux install.

After installing XP and the necessary drivers from Dell, I registered it, and installed SP3. I love updates, and am determined to get the latest stuff on this installation. I then flashed my DVD drives firmware with the latest update, and downloaded the latest graphic drivers from Nvidia. So far so good, everything went without a hitch. I also installed AVG antivirus free v8. Now, I've always been a Norton fanboi.. but their last incantation left an unpleasant taste in my mouth. After hearing good things about AVG on lifehacker.com, I decided to give it a go and not install Norton's Systemworks.

Around this point I decided it was a good idea to install Fedora 9 alongside XP. Why Fedora? Because I've been a fan of Red Hat from it's 3.0 days. Not that I've given any other system a try. Well I booted off the DVD, and everything proceeded fine till I tried to create the Linux Partition Structure, where it fell over in a heap telling me that I had insufficient space to create the / partition. After trying all sorts of things.. even repeatedly repartitioning my drives, I was ready to give up.

A search through the forums, however gave me a clue. A HDD can support only a maximum of four partitions apparently. A new user will point to my afore mentioned multiple partition in confusion. Allow me to clarify - All those partitions were logical partitions created inside an extended partition. However I had created my Programs partition as a primary partition, instead of a logical one which means I had already used up 3 of the 4 allowed primary partitions - C drive, Programs, and an Extended one to hold my logical partitions. And Linux needed at least two spots to install. And this was the correct reason inspite of the incorrect and misleading 'out of space' error.

Well, using Powerquest's infinitely useful Partition Magic, I converted E: Programs into a logical partition inside my Extended partition, and then reran the installation. This time it proceede without hitch, and I soon had Fedora up and running by 3 am. Initial impressions are not that great however. I expected the Gnome UI to be more kickass... infact its almost boring in it's plainness (I'm looking at screenshots of fedora 8 and it seems prettier). I'll try KDE today and let you know. Maybe these guys should talk to my kickass designed friend. I'm also still trying to get my WiFi working on fedora, but it's taking a while. I am such a n00b.

Anyways, I should be running on full functionality soon. It's such a relief to work on a bright 1950x1200 display again. THAT is what my blog is supposed to look like. For now I'm carefully searching for the latest versions of essential software. Do you have any suggestions or preferences for the best essential software no Windows installation should be without?

Anyways, after all that I finally got to sleep at 3 am. And that explains why there are imprints of the keyboard on my forehead today.

Speculation..

2008-09-03T13:29:00.001Z

Larry Niven, creator of Ringworld, has wayyy too much time on his hand. Here's why.

Another Random Post

2008-09-02T10:08:00.003Z

I'm still laptopless and lazy, so instead of blogging the longer posts I have been working on, here is another collection of randomness. Hmm maybe I should have written that laptop-less. You know, so the perverts out there don't read it wrong. Yes. I mean YOU.

I'm typing this while listening to Kraftwerk on my iPhone. Yes I have an iPhone. I'm posh spelt P-O-S-H. I drink my tea with my pinky extended and I never come, I always arrive. What I'm trying to say is - listen to Kraftwerk. Back in 1997 my friend from college, Prashanth dug out this old tape and made me listen to Kraftwerk's Man Machine. A very interesting album, techno trance, with a lot of music which seems to have been stolen by later artists.

One of the books I'm really looking forward to reading is Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card. Supposedly one of Sci-fi's best, I'm surprised I never ran across it. I hope it's magnificent; I'm willing to forgive Card his homophobia. And why didn't anyone tell me about Clive Cussler. I kept seeing his books but was never motivated to pick one up. I plan to rectify that immediately.

And now for some internet goodness. Weird Universe give you your daily hit of bizarre. Want to do some quick and dirty photo editing and don't have the tools? Try Picnik. And read superhero parody [this is NSFW] 'The Pro' here.

Dunno

2008-09-01T09:44:00.002Z

I just ran into one of my favourite books as a child. It's Nikolai Nosov's The Adventures of Dunno and his Friends. It's funny and whimsical and has the most amazing illustrations. Its available for free online here. Definitely

worth a read.

5000 Twisted Hits

2008-09-01T06:35:00.002Z

The Sound of Settling.

2008-08-29T12:08:00.001Z

"The Sound Of Settling"
-Death Cab for Cutie

I've got a hunger
Twisting my stomach into knots
That my tongue was tied off

My brain's repeating
"if you've got an impulse let it out"
But they never make it past my mouth.

Baa bah, this is the sound of settling
Baa bah, baa bah
[x2]

Our youth is fleeting
Old age is just around the bend
And i can't wait to go grey

And i'll sit and wonder
Of every love that could've been
If i'd only thought of something charming to say.

Baa bah, this is the sound of settling
Baa bah, baa bah
[x4]

I've got a hunger twisting my stomach into knots.

>Schizophrenic<

2008-08-29T06:51:00.001Z

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I'm schizophrenic...
and so am I.

Freaky..

2008-08-28T16:52:00.000Z

Check this out... funny stuff.

The 27 Most Hilarious Album Covers Of All Time

A Tragic Gap

2008-08-28T08:33:00.001Z

It's a darke day for us here on the interwebs. My Dell Xps M1710 decided that 2 years of service are quite enough, and with resigned finality, crashed. And that is why, though I have posts waiting for you on my Google Docs, I've been silent for some time. I'm posting this note via the email facility of blogger.

Well, it was not exactly unexpected. I came home one day to find that my hard drive was not recognised by the BIOS. However a quick reset to defaults of the BIOS solved the problem. This of course, made me quite jittery, and the first thind I did was make a backup of my important, irreplaceable files onto my external MyBook.

And it was a good thing I did, as a couple of days back. my laptop restarted and now the hard drive is quite missing. Now, I've not got everything I want off that drive, but I've got enough so that I do not have to commit ritualistic hara-kiri. Of course, I've had hard disks die on me before, the worst being when my 500 Gb external Segate got fried when I connected it to an unprotected power outlet at a friends place in bangalore. A few quick power fluctuations and thats all she wrote.

The stupedest reason for loosing data was way back in undergraduation. Me and a few mates decided to upgrade my Pentium II, 2 gb hdd from Win 95 to 98. So, after copying the stuff I wanted to keep into a folder, we proceeded to wipe everything else and install a pirated copy of 98 which my uncle sent from Singapore. BTW, this kinda activity was the height of excitement for me and my friends those days. And from that you know I live a sad escuse of a life. Anyway, everything was proceeding swimmingly, when the installation hung somewhere towards the end.

A small setback, we figured, and retried the installation with exactly the same results. After several goes, tweaking all possible settings, we had progressed no further. My two friends and I were perplexed and irritated. However this third guy from my class, came forward, and with quiet confidence said that 98 would not install without a full format of the hard disk. We scoffed, but after a few more tries we began to listen to him. He was totally confident and assured us that that was the problem. I really needed the data on my drive, but without an OS it was useless. And in those days of floppy diskettes, no realistic backup solution presented itself.

So, I finally bit the bullet, and typed in format c: . What a sacrifice, but it was the only way to go forward. We ran the installation for the upmteenth time, and lo and behold; it failed in the EXACT same place! At this point the guy quietly removed himself from the proceedings. After some time, my friends left too, admitting defeat. Late in the night however, I came across a setting tucked away in the BIOS which said Enable/Disable Virus Protection. This prevented anything from changing the MBR of the Hard Disk, which windows obviously needed to do. DOH. I disabled it and the installation ran flawlessly.

But I never trusted that guy again.

Lets Test

2008-08-28T07:40:00.001Z

Testing the email functionality of blogger.

A nudist by the name of Roger Peet
Loved to dance in the snow and the sleet,
But one chilly December
He froze every member,
And retired to a monkish retreat.

There was a young lady named Sharkey
Who had an affair with a darkey.
The result of her sins
Was quadruplets, not twins,
One white, and one black, and two khaki.

That is all.

Dilli Darshan: Connaught Place at night

2008-08-07T14:55:00.002Z

My life is a Comic - pt 1

2008-08-03T12:41:00.001Z

When I was really young, I remember reading a lot of Archies. The were more accessible than superhero comics and much more entertaining than the Chacha Chaudharys and suchlike. On occasion, as I would be zipping through a double digest, my dad would take it and start reading aloud. 'Oh Veronica, you look lovely. SMOOCH! SMOOCH!'. My dad would quite enjoy himself, and exert himself to the maximum to get the full range of sound effects involved whenever Archie went near some girl. He would then look at me in mock surprise and say - This comic is FULL of kissing. Is that why you like it?, and grin.

Blushing furiously, I would snatch the offending digest out of his hand and tell him that I was just reading it for Jughead (the inveterate girl hater). And it was true because I was at the age when the opposite sex was the enemy, and all contact was to be avoided. Even though I was strangely attracted, externally I presented a strong front, exhorting my friends to resist their lubricious feminine wiles. Of course, with age comes wisdom, and I soon realised that I was no match for them. But that's another story...

I still read Archies, but only when I go home and can get them from the library. They're light enough that I can eat, surf the net, watch TV and read them at the same time. Of course, there were a few superhero comics available then, with Phantom, Tarzan, Mandrake and Flash Gordon leading the front. Many were the happy hours I spent pretending to study, with a Flash comic hidden in my Social Studies textbook. Unfortunately though, I tended to get lost in that world of fantasy, at which point soft 'PEW PEW PEW' sounds would emanate from my throat, as I battled the hordes of Ming the Merciless. At this point my mom would storm in, confiscate my comic and leave me with sore ear, which, let me tell you, was worse than any torture Ming could inflict.

Another comic, or should I say graphic novel, that I was very fond of was the Asterisk and Obelisk series. Goscinny and Uderzo crafted masterpiece after masterpiece with their wry french humour and witty stereotypes. I could read their comics time and time again and still do. Of course Uderzo continued the series after Goscinny died, with mixed success.

And of course, in the same format was Herge's Tintin with it's high adventure and the comedic timing of Haddock and Thomson and Thompson. To be precise. These can often have me laughing out loud, which is my criteria for a good book.

Over the years, I've encountered many different comics, and being in a place where easy access to good comics was never easy, the ones I have run across are a motley and varied selection. Ranging from the indigenous Tinkle to Bone and The Blue Devil and Swamp Thing, all comics were grist to my mill.

The earliest comics I remember were the Walt Disney ones starring Mickey, Donald, The Beagle Boys and so on. Most of them involved Hewie, Dewie and Louie thwarting some inventive plan of the Beagle Boys to get their hands on Scrooge McDuck's cash.

In Delhi in the fourth grade He-Man mini booklets were the latest craze. They used to come in plastic pouches, four to the sheet, and I collected them avidly. It was an expression of my interest in science fiction and fantasy, and besides, Teela and The Sorceress interested me strangely.

To be continued....

XKCD.COM

2008-07-30T15:25:00.001Z

Witty and poignant. Check out xkcd. A webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language.

Heroes interpreted.

2008-07-26T20:39:00.003Z

The time has come, to talk of many thing. Of capes, and pandas, and flying bums; of maniacs and kings. And why Darkseid never sleeps; and whether bats have wings.

The post, obviously, has been inspired by watching three superhero movies in quick succession; Kung Fu Panda, Hancock and The Dark Knight. Okay okay, so you say Kung Fu Panda is NOT a superhero as such. Do I even care?

So lets start off with Hancock. A great premise and reasonable acting ruined by a lousy script. Not even Charlize was able to save this. Will plays it too emotional to be really funny, and where oh where are the impressive villains? A gay guy with a hook for a hand? That's the baddie? Please. The movie gets over before it begins. Do not watch it. Not even if guys with hook hands turn you on. Coz' you can find stuff on the internet that'll satisfy THAT fetish. Rule 34, baby.

Kung Fu panda is cool. He can do the Wushi finger hold AND make a mean noodle soup. But that doesn't mean I like being compared with him. The NERVE of some people... Anyhoo, this is another movie which starts before it begins. The Bad Guy is whipped in one round with Po. The hero does not lose the first round only to return for round two, having finally learnt the meaning of 'heart'. And it doesn't really give me a good cartoon babe to fixate on (can anyone say Jasmine?).

But the movie is fun all the same; full of laughs and morals. And in the end, the audience learns that the secret to avoiding paralysing kung fu attacks is in developing an insulating layer of fat. And isn't that what really matters?

And finally, the movie of the year; The Dark Knight. Now I don't want to wax loquacious, but what a flick. They've finally tried to reach what I have visualised as the ultimate Batman film. That's right, in my head I'm an Oscar winning film director. And Batman will be my masterpiece. So starting with the premise that this film is awesome, crap-yo-pants fantastic, lets begin to tear it down. Christian Bale.... nope, Bale is NOT my Batman. He's too small, not brooding enough. Batman is a physical presence. He looms out from shadows. His cape falls over his shoulders to the ground; covering his suit; hiding it's outlines. His mask is not an oversize helmet covering most of his face, but thinner, smoother, showing his jawline. And his voice is not a rough rasp, but smooth and deep and full of hidden menace.

Has Ledger beaten Nicholson in his portrayal of the Joker? Who can say. Nicholson was an impressive joker, and combined with Burton's genius was whimsical, mad and deadly. Ledger's just creepy. Okay; subtract the 'just'. He brings creepy to a whole new level; a psychopathic mass-murdering level. And he's brilliant at it. They've interpreted the madness of the joker wonderfully well in the movie. He's in control of the situation the whole time, playing Gordon and Wayne like marionettes. And like the comics, the interplay between the Batman and Joker is wonderfully scripted. One gets the feel that the Joker defines himself by the existence of the Batman.

Finally, Gotham. Chicago does provide a good substitute, and plays off well against Nolan's storytelling style, but I would expect Gotham to be more... er... Gothic. More dark, more gargoyled and gloomy.

But hey! You can't have everything! A few things they DO get right is the twisted relationship between the bat and the joker, emphasis on the dark knight as a detective, and the deliberate concealment of Chief Gordon's daughter, Barbara. And we all know who SHE is.

Watch out for more heroes, including the eagerly anticipated Watchmen and the second celluloid version of the seminal Mike Mignola's Hellboy.

Sanity revoked

2008-07-23T18:13:00.001Z

Okay... drop everything. Do yourself a favour. Go to the theatre and watch The Dark Knight. Immediately. Now. Do it.

Visitor Locations

2008-07-13T05:40:00.001Z

Well, in a very polite mail Clustrmaps informed me that a year has passed since I had installed it on my blog, and they had archived my map and replaced it with a fresh one (on the right). I was quite proud of the old one; it showed hits from almost every country 'cept a few in Africa and round Russia Well, its on to bigger and better thing; and I hope you guys will help me populate the new map even better.

Here's what the old one looked like -

Finally...

2008-07-11T18:45:00.001Z

How to configure EDGE on the iPhone

Configuration November 5th, 2007

I will show you how to configure iPhone for EDGE on any network - especially on India’s Bharti Airtel and Vodafone GSM networks.

Tap on Settings on your iPhone
Then General -> Network -> EDGE -> APN
For Bharti Airtel Mobile Office EDGE connection -> Type airtelgprs.com as the APN
For Vodafone EDGE connection -> Type www as the APN
For both Airtel and Vodafone EDGE connections leave the Username and Password empty

Now your Safari and YouTube should be working!

And for more tips of a similar nature, head off to iphonetipz

The Real World.

2008-07-09T10:47:00.002Z

Whoever told you that a long vacation refreshes, relaxes and get's you ready for work is a dirty stinking liar. After being pampered, fed and generally coddled for two and a half weeks at home, returning to work is like emerging for a warm, cushioned womb into a dismal dystopian reality. Not that its not warm here.. oh no! Delhi's burning heat of June may be over, but the weather here has unleashed a new weapon in it's arsenal - humidity. The air is so sodden, so damp, that goldfish would probably find it salubrious. Any small exertion and you're pouring out streams of sweat and gasping with your mouth; much like afore-mentioned goldfish. Contrast that with my home in Coimbatore where an air conditioner is never required.

Add to this the tedium of office. My cubicle, which was chosen carefully for its solitude and distance from everyone, has been filled to the brim by sincere hard working drones. The person next to me, so awed by his manager, reads out lines of code to himself in a semi-panicked mutter which does much to drive away all my peace of mind.

And of course, in Delhi I am at the whims and fancies of outdoor food. Whereas at home, I am secure in the knowledge that all I have to do is turn up at the dining table at prescribed intervals and be fed; in Delhi every meal takes at least 15 minutes of keen descisions. Do I eat or skip? Do I subject my stomach to the tortures of the cafeteria, or do I venture out in the broiling sun to eat at a resteraunt? Will a bowl of musceli stave the ravening pangs of hunger or should I go whole hog on that cheese burst pizza and pay for my indulgence with guilt ridden sleepless nights? Decisions, decisions...

Psychologists save lives

2008-06-19T18:21:00.002Z

The Gate

2008-05-29T16:36:00.004Z

I know; my blog posts have become few and far between. Instead of the words and ideas flowing out smoothly, like slick jellied eels, they emerge grudgingly reluctant onto the espace like an alligator from its mud pit. And from those rotten analogies, you know it must be true.

The reason for this is a pervasive ennui which seems to envelop me and everything I do nowadays. The only thing which I do nowdays is read tech blogs and salivate at the new and shiny bits of metal and plastic that they so love to talk about. Gizmodo is my favourite right now, with Crave, Engadget and Slashdot following close behind. I occasionally tune into Scott Adam's blog, though his output is nowhere as good as before. And when I want to get in touch with my feminine side I head on over to Dooce.

Not that I need to get further in touch with my feminine size. I'm just one Avril Lavigne song away from putting on a dress. Coloured pink. Okay, so I apologise; apparently girls don't just like pink. They like red and white stripes/prints too. Which is not the same as pink. Definitely. Not.

Ever since I've returned to India, I've been doing my very best to visit as many pubs/lounges as possible, and get as comprehensively drunk in them as possible. And no, I will absolutely not let the shame of ordering strawberry daquiris while the girls with me down whiskeys with soda and then adjust their crotch and spit stop me.

Hey, I did tell you about my feminine side, didn't I? According to these girls (they pretend to be my friends), I give off this gay vibe, which is why they take me with them to restaurants and force me to ask the maître d' for a table. Apparently they are quick to comply either from desire or terror.

This weekend involved a drunken semi orgy at home with triple distilled vodka, white rum and Drambuie and Burnout matches on the PS2. We were supposed to catch a play at the Indian Habitat Centre on Sunday evening, but on arriving there learnt that it was sold out. Apparently more people were interested in imbibing culture than we thought. So after hanging around and ineffectually trying to bribe the guards into letting us in, we decided to make our way to Khan Market for dinner.

After strolling around a bit, we decided to have dinner at Big Chillz, which, as usual, made us wait for a half hour for a table, while we stood outside the window and pulled hungry orphan faces. I have to say, patience and girls go together just like apples and Godzilla. First, Miz Kuruvilla accosted the maître d' for letting this couple get in ahead of us. The waited replied politely, 'We would seat you first, Madam, we really would, but we would lose our jobs. The couple we just seated were the owners.'

Big Chillz is a pretty good restaurant serving continental and Italian, but what you should really go there for are the delicious and indulgent desserts with mud pies and cheesecakes crowding the menu.

This time however, we decided to go to India Gate for ice cream. Quite surprisingly, there was a huge crowd at India gate. People were lounging on the grass with picnic baskets and vendors weaved their way through the crowd selling everything from bhel-puri to bubble guns. It sorta reminded me of another famous place - people on the lawns before the Eiffel Tower. Such different places, yet so similar.

The girls of course wanted a bubble gun and a fluorescent helicopter, which miz Dutt promptly proceeded to launch in a wild and erratic manner, causing everyone to take seven steps away for safety.

Of course, the battery of my D60 chose that very moment to quit on me so you'll have to be satisfies with (inferior?) shots from Shazzer's D40.

[Update - I've managed to get just two photos outta Shazzer. Rest will follow shortly]

The Jesus Phone crucified.

2008-05-22T18:19:00.002Z

Okay, so for those of you who follow my blog, you will recall me posting abt the latest list of gadgets on my have to have list ie http://lifeofviren.blogspot.com/2008/03/gadget-crazy.html. Anyway, two of them have been delivered into my grubby, clutching lil' mitts, namely the MyBook and the Nikon D60. The Nokia N96 however has eluded me by being, most frustratingly, still unreleased.

So what do I go out and do? Well, buy the Jesus Phone obviously. Yes yes, I know the 3G iPhone is imminent, but the CarPhone Warehouse were practically giving them away at £169. Of course, you were supposed to get a 2 year contract with O2, but hey, I'm willing to forego my warranty and get it unlocked.

I've got to hand it to Apple; they really DO do things in style. The phone comes in a sexy little box within with is the phone, a tiny manual, a usb cable, headphones and a jigsawesque power plug, all wrapped in yards of plastic. I was in the last stages of packing (this was the day before I was to leave for India), and my luggage was already approaching critical mass, but I just had to take the box back home. So, out went all my underwear, and in nestled the box between a James Herriot and a fleshlight. Of course, I haven't got around to buying any undies yet, but I'm quite enjoying the freedom.

err.. Anyway, back to the iPhone. After charging it a bit, I installed iTunes on my PC and upgraded the phone's firmware to 1.1.4.

Rant #1- What's it with Apple and their propriatry software? Whatever happened to good ol' drag n' drop? This always pissed me off no end, which is why I bought my self an iRiver d40 all those years ago and not an iPod.

Unlocking the iPhone next was a snap. ZiPhone does a pretty good job, both unlocking and jailbreaking it in a snap; and its ready to use. After playing around with the interface, I was genuinely impressed. Till I tried to make a call.

Rant #2 - WTF, the iPhone does not pick up your contacts off the SIM. Which is just horrible!

So, I had to first sync all my contacts from my Razr onto Outlook, and then sync them back to the iphone. And I saw it. And I used it. And it was good. Especially browsing the net, for which the iPhone is really built. So it's all joy and dreams... as long as you have wifi. Switch off the net however...

Rant #3 - My iPhone does not recognise the ad hoc wifi conn I set up from my laptop. Though this may be more a defect in me than in the iphone.

Rant #4 - Why does the SMS keyboard not appear in widescreen mode? I mean they've done it for the internet entry. How hard is it to put it in for the sms mode?

Rant #5 - Apparently, the bluetooth on the iPhone pairs only with the Apple bluetooth Headset... and NOTHING ELSE. Fun, innit?

Rant #6 - A 2 megapixel camera? Really?

Sigh, and lets not talk about the lack of 3G shall we? And neither of the fact that it will almost surely be outdated in a few weeks when the 3G iPhone arrives.

But for all this, it is a slick piece of gadgetry; an iconic crowd puller. And it's mine. And that's all that counts really. So now all I haveta do is sit back, whip it out (the phone, not anything else you pervert!) and wait for the ladies to come flocking. As I'm sure they will. Won't they?

A New Hope

2008-05-05T21:00:00.004Z

Those of you who know me know that I'm always in search of the next big thing. From gadgets to galoti kebobs, I scour cyberspace for titbits to titillate both geek and gourmet. My first discovery is for the man of refined taste who's looking for something to tickle his taste bud. http://www.freshkitten.com/ will open up a new world for taste sensations for the purist and hedonist alike.

And having stimulated you physically, I now attempt to jog those grey cells by introducing you to the latest kid on the blogosphere - http://meinbetweenbooks.blogspot.com/. Now I know this blogger personally; we even pretend to be friends on occasion. And I do have to say, she's intelligent, knowledgeable and quite humourous too, especially when she tries to enter stores through their plate glass display windows (no I WON'T forget that). So give it a go.

And to end up, let me say I've changed continents again, and I'm now typing this blog from a place where the thermometer shows 43 degree celcius.

Farewell....

2008-04-25T00:05:00.004Z

So I apologise. I know I've been neglecting you all for the past few weeks. But I have a really good reason - I'm finally going home! Yup, its 1 am, and in 3 hours I leave for the airport and fly home, home, home to India.

It's been a really hectic 2 weeks, what with all the cleaning, packing and winding up in general. And so ends my fourth trip to the UK. For me not the grassy hills and lush medows. The babbling brook and riotous orchard holds no more charm for me, as now I go home.

To be true, I am dreading the 40+ degree temperature in Delhi. But but but.. I get to go home (did I mention that).

So Farewell, may we meet again. My next blog will be from India!

The Cliffs of Insanity

2008-04-03T19:38:00.006Z

Well here is just a little sample of what goes on on a typical day in IRCLand. Warning - the conversation below may contain excessive vulgarity, obscene perversions and even references to George Bush. In fact, dont read it. especially if you work with me or are related. Or if you know me even.

I'm CENSORING the rest of this! ..
[r34en]little britain.. what's that all about
[evil-inc]Something about being the only gay in the village
[evil-inc]I figured you'd be able to relate to it.
* Evil-Inc chuckles
[r34en]no I cant :/
[r34en]there are lots of gays in norwich
[evil-inc]lol
[evil-inc]I'll tell you what I don't get
[evil-inc]The Kumars At Number 42.
[evil-inc]What the hell is that all about?
[r34en]eh dont ask me
[evil-inc]I thought you'd know. Being Indian and all.
[r34en]second gen desis are all a bit crazy imo
[r34en]at least it's not big brother
[evil-inc]lol
[evil-inc]I've never seen that crap.
[evil-inc]Although I did watch the clips with Shilpa Shetty.
[evil-inc]That was funny.
[r34en]I watched it about 4 years back
* spyoct77 has joined #brighton
* ChanServ sets mode: +o spyoct77
[r34en]when I had come here for the first time
[r34en]fascinated what people would watch
[r34en]and what rat crazy people got in that house
[evil-inc]lol
[r34en]Shetty even
[r34en]'I am the Angelina Jolie of Bollywood'
[evil-inc]haha
[rachel]shit, i just knocked the speaker off the desk and now it sounds like its inside a plastic bag
[rachel]and it hit the lamp transformer and now that wont turn on
[evil-inc]What were you doing?
[rachel]THIS PLACE IS A MESS
* Evil-Inc looks at Rachel suspiciously.
[r34en]though I have to say she is hot.. as long as she puts a bag over her head and a ball gag in her mouth
[evil-inc]Seems as though you saw a penis.
[evil-inc]lol Viren.
[r34en]pls to keep a safe distance from electronics while wanking
[evil-inc]heh
[r34en]Rachel.. stop it!
[r34en]enough damage for one day
[evil-inc]lol
[r34en]I once broke a chair wanking
[r34en]once = yesterday :/
[r34en]nearly took out the table too
[evil-inc]wow. Now thats one story I don't want to hear.
* Rachel changes topic to 'welcome to #Brighton http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2EThpC-I4M&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kv8fLUuwo3M 2(120202:124602:124202) [01@Rachel] i am always curious to see penises. [@r34en] I once broke a chair wanking'
[r34en]wtf
[spyoct77]really rachel?:)
[r34en]TANKS
[evil-inc]Tanks!? WHERE?
[r34en]eh thanks even
[r34en]you think shes away wanking... and she's just waiting to topic you :/
[evil-inc]She's sneaky like that
[r34en]FALSE PRETENCES -_-
[spyoct77]i never knew rachel was so curious:)
[r34en]not in your's spyoct77
[r34en]er
[spyoct77]in whos?:)
[spyoct77]you broke a chair?
[r34en]er
[r34en]no
[spyoct77]hehehe
[r34en]what gave you that idea
[spyoct77]its written in the topic
* r34en edges towards the door
[r34en]oh rachel lies
[evil-inc]He nearly took the table down as well
[spyoct77]must be in the guinness book of records
[r34en]i'm not in the mood for this shit.. esp after sitting on this fucking hard chair off the dining table
[evil-inc]Your moms in the guinnes book of records.
[evil-inc](Sorry, I couldn't resist)
[r34en]hah
[spyoct77]i never mentioned family members
[evil-inc]I know. I did.
[spyoct77]not nice
[r34en]yes Evil-Inc.. why you mention the family members?
[evil-inc]I'll make sure I punish myself
[spyoct77]:(
[r34en]you a bad lil boy
[r34en]spyoct77.. where are you from?
[r34en]WHO are you?
[spyoct77]island of malta -europe
[evil-inc]or..what are you?
[evil-inc]Oh I know Malta.
[r34en]oh I'll stop fishing... are you female, hot, and willing to shag me?
[r34en]or any two of those?
[evil-inc]lol
[evil-inc]Hot and willing to shag him will do
[evil-inc]You don't have to be female.
[r34en]yeah Awais knows ALL about that
[spyoct77]oh im not saying what i am:)
[r34en]what species even?
[evil-inc]I know nothing.
[evil-inc]I'm only going by what you're saying.
[r34en]I'm coming there soon... get lubed up and ready
[evil-inc]lol
[spyoct77]where r u lot from?:)
[evil-inc]Pakistan.
[r34en]India
[spyoct77]thought u were american
[r34en]He is
[r34en]I'm more Russian
[evil-inc]On the Inside.
[evil-inc]lol Viren
[spyoct77]what languages do u speak?
[r34en]um.. not english obviously
[spyoct77]hehe
[r34en]I speak Indian
[evil-inc]I speak Pakistani
[spyoct77]i can speak english italian french maltese
[r34en]ah a linguist
[spyoct77]cant speak ur languages:)
[r34en]for shame
[r34en]soon the whole world will be speaking Indian or Pakistani
[r34en]we guys are breeding like crazy tryong to make it happen soon
[r34en]o/i
[spyoct77]first world language is english , then french/spanish , italian
[r34en]chinese imo
[r34en]or rather mandarin
[spyoct77]chinese maybe
[evil-inc]Yeah, plus we're sending people all over the world. To cross breed.
[evil-inc]Soon, we'll take over the world.
[r34en]yeah.. any news from our embassy in Malta?
[spyoct77]no trouble over here :)
[r34en]oh.. there'll be trouble in a couple of months, trust me
[spyoct77]foreigners r all welcome
[evil-inc]You'll soon regret saying that.
[spyoct77]u mean cause of religions?
[r34en]foreigners? who's a foreigner?
[r34en]are YOU a foreigner Evil?
[evil-inc]Everyones a foreigner to someone.
[spyoct77]lol
[r34en]got that off a fortune cookie?
[r34en]ask for your money back
[evil-inc]It was free.
[spyoct77]so in ur country u had richard gere and that model on the news?
[r34en]which model?
[evil-inc]Not in my country.
[r34en]the hamster?
[evil-inc]Gere is scared to come here.
[spyoct77]i forgot her name
[spyoct77]he kissed her on stage
[evil-inc]Shilpa Shetty?
[spyoct77]yeah thats her
[r34en]no he means the gerbil
[r34en]it was an Indian gerbil
[spyoct77]she took part on big brother
[evil-inc]I'd kiss a gerbil on the stage.
[evil-inc]Oh.
[evil-inc]Not an Indian gerbil!
[r34en]heh
[r34en]i think his relationship with it went more than kissing
[spyoct77]indian girls r nice
[spyoct77]heheh
[r34en]no they're not
[r34en]they dont shave
[spyoct77]really?
[r34en][down]O_O
[evil-inc]The cute ones do.
[spyoct77]neither legs?
[r34en]er
[r34en]yes
[r34en]legs
[spyoct77]well at least they do that:)
[r34en]when I want to see how I'd look with a beard, I just get the nearest girl to stand upside down in front of the mirror, and put my chin between her legs
[evil-inc]LOL
[spyoct77]lol
[spyoct77]why dont they shave there?
[r34en]its a religious thing
[spyoct77]ic
[spyoct77]well who would know if they did
[r34en]when it grows long enough, they make it into pigtails and dye it orange to honour the great saint Rajnikant
[spyoct77]lol
[r34en]spyoct77.. why did you laugh?
[spyoct77]i never heard of such things
[r34en]are you making fun of my religion?
[spyoct77]no
[spyoct77]but they dye it orange
[evil-inc]rofl
[r34en]it seems you are
[r34en]yes
[spyoct77]pigtails?
[r34en]YES
[r34en]plus they make great handles
[evil-inc]haha
[spyoct77]r u serious?:)
[spyoct77]lol
[r34en]do you have an issue with that?
[r34en]again with the laughter
[spyoct77]never read about these things ur saying:)
[spyoct77]whats ur religion?
[r34en]well we dont write about pigtails OBVIOUSLY
[r34en]I'm Indian
[evil-inc]ROFL
[spyoct77]not nationality
[r34en]my religion is Indian.. I speak Indian.. thats what I am and that's what I do
[evil-inc]His religion is Sachin Tendulkarism
[spyoct77]ah ok
[spyoct77]im catholic
[r34en]oh
[evil-inc]I hear catholic chicks put out.
[evil-inc]Is that true?
[r34en]in my country we're scared of catholics
[spyoct77]nah not true
[evil-inc]lol r34en
[r34en]we are scared they'll steal our shadows
[spyoct77]we have all religions in my country
[spyoct77]we are friendly with all:)
[r34en]is it true you can kill people and suck their souls by throwing water at them?
[spyoct77]us?
[r34en]yes
[spyoct77]no
[r34en]atholics
[r34en]+c
[spyoct77]its false
[evil-inc]ROFLMAO
[r34en]no?
[r34en]are you sure
[spyoct77]positive
[r34en]or are you not allowed to tell these secrets to non catholics?
[luis]viren, im catholic, and my spatula still [3s]He's just learning about her religion
[luis]haha
[r34en]his
[r34en]his imo
[r34en]luis.. but you are different
[spyoct77]catholics dont harm other religions
[luis]:D
[rachel]the only women in this channel are me and bonnie (then erika, susan and katherine when she comes in)
[r34en]I yearn for your catholic ass
[evil-inc]lol
[rachel]oh gawd.
[luis]w00t!
[r34en]man we should bash.org that whole conv
[rachel]man love.
[spyoct77]what religion r u Rachel?
[r34en]shes a nympho
[evil-inc]She's a mormon
[rachel]i am a buddhist paul.
[rachel]when i am not also a nympho and a moron, apparently.
[r34en]same thing
[spyoct77]decide:)
[luis]lol
[spyoct77]mormons can marry more than one woman
[rachel]oh and i misread that too.
[rachel]anyway
[r34en]thats it I'm converting
[evil-inc]Oh
[spyoct77]mormoms started off after american civil war , many women were left without husbans so one man would have to satisfy a whole lot
[r34en]In India if a woman looks at a man who's not her husband, her pigtails are tied togetherr
[r34en]-r
[spyoct77]who ties them,?
[r34en]the village elders
[spyoct77]ic
[spyoct77]do they practice circumcision there too?
[r34en]and she can only be free if she can get the family goat to eat them off
[r34en]er
[r34en]sorry
[r34en]went off on a tangent there
[r34en]circumcision is Evil's thing
[evil-inc]LOL
[spyoct77]so many religions and many traditions
[spyoct77]in malta we r mostly catholic
[spyoct77]@__@
[r34en]oh okay
[r34en]so are you married?
[tingteg]yes
[r34en]you are kept, teg
[spyoct77]not married yet
[spyoct77]you?
[evil-inc]rofl viren
[r34en]I'm married to my religion
[tingteg]kept WELL
[tingteg]mind you
[evil-inc]O RLY?
[evil-inc]When was the last time you got some?
[r34en]we are not allwed to marry
[tingteg]RLY
[r34en]nor masturbate
[spyoct77]u cant drink alcohol?
[r34en]no we can drink lots of alcohol
[r34en]how do you think we keep from wanking like crazed mountain goats?
[spyoct77]God Bless u all
[r34en]oh
[spyoct77]:)
[r34en]you leaving :/
[tingteg]god would have to bless me a lot to make up for my heathenism
[r34en]I wanted to ask how you cast out deamons wiht your cross
[r34en]coz I wanted teg out of this channel
* tingteg has left #brighton

Eiffel

2008-04-01T17:14:00.001Z

VJPicParis115, originally uploaded by Viren Joky.

Moving my photo's to flickr

Flickr

2008-04-01T16:47:00.001Z

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

Shadows and Light

2008-03-30T18:36:00.003Z

Pictures with my new Nikon D60 at Snowdonia, Wales this Easter.

Dinner and drinks - Scotland Day 2 part 2

2008-03-20T17:00:00.000Z

7.30 pm: Where the weary travellers finally arrive.
We reached the Bayfield Backpackers at around a quarter to eight, and were shown to our rooms by the friendly owner. The hostel was quite decent, and was full of Chinese, surprisingly. He recommended a restaurant nearby for dinner, where we proceeded and made a booking for later.

Portree is a tiny little town, with nothing much going for it, except a gale force wind which nearly lifted us off our feet. The wind blew straight in from the sea bringing with it a smattering of rain with each gust. Since we had about an hour to kill, we made our way in to the nearest pub with a pool table, where Gupta proceeded to comprehensively wipe the floor first with Kumar, and then with the locals. Meanwhile I and George enjoyed a smooth drink of Tallisker whiskey (the only whiskey produced on the island itself – at the Tallisker distillery) on rocks.

9.00 pm : Dinner and drinks.
We then headed to the restaurant, which was rather posh with a steep menu. The ambiance however, quite made up for the prices, and the food was delightful. I had the beefsteak with pepper sauce accompanied with haggis on the side with mountains of steamed vegetables. A red wine was ordered which quite complimented the food, and amidst happy chatter, we dug into the food.

Full and sated, and mildly intoxicated with the whisky and wine, we made our way back to the hostel, and into the common room, which was quite deserted at that time of night. The Bacardi and Morgan’s Spiced we brought out, and we rummaged through a stack of board games to play.

10.30 pm : A Trivial Pursuit indeed.
We finally settled on Trivial Pursuit, a game that none of us had played before, and consequently had to interpret the rules as best as we could, which in our inebriated state, led to quite a surreal game. We shuffled the deck of cards meant for adults, and started off.

I mean started off figuratively, as 15 minutes later we were all still in the exact same starting questions, scratching our heads over questions like 'Who won the 1980 Women’s Ping Pong championships in Bournemouth', or 'What significance does the phrase 'want bitty' mean to Harvey from Little Britain?'. Apparently, British trivia was much too complicated for our feeble brains, so we switched to the children’s pack of cards.

At the Children’s level, the advantage of still being in my first childhood became quickly apparent, as I started fielding question left and right such as –

Q. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
A. He would chuck, he would, as much as he could, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
Also Acceptable - It might depend on how many female woodchucks were present. Or, it could depend on whether the woodchuck's mother-in-law was around or not. If she was, he'd be chucking all day. If not, he'd be watching the football game.

Q. What colour were the Little Mermaid's knickers
A. Trick question! She never wore any.

We all were soon moving our counters round the board, except George, who had the bad luck of being stuck with some real mind-bending stumpers; including 'Complete the name of this famous fashion house- Ralph ____?', 'Would you find an orang-u-tan in a) A Forest b)The Kitchen or c) Your girlfriends pants' (though even I had to admit that there was no SINGLE correct answer here), and 'Spell your name backwards'.

11.30 pm: Ruin and Destitution.
Well, my prodigious brainpower ensured I won the game, followed by Kuruvilla as a close second, leaving George at the end to mutter and curse gnaw at the board. He soon had his revenge however, as we moved on to monopoly next where my generous and giving nature soon left me bankrupt, and I was forced to steal money from Kumar by distracting him by pretending nude Scots girls were frolicking outside the window behind us.

12.15 am: Nightime Chills.
By that time we had pretty much demolished most of the alcohol we had brought in, and when I had to bring my face about 5 centimetres from the notes to read their denomination, I decided it was time to give up and turn in. The only problem was, when we reached our room it was freezing cold; colder than a witch's tits; to be colourful about it. Apparently, the lodge keeper had forgotten to turn up the heating in our room, as Kuruvilla, who was sleeping in a different dorm reported back that it was all toasty warm over there. After trying the 'panic' button on the counter several times with no luck, we resigned ourselves to dying from hypothermia that night.

12.45 am: A Romantic interlude thwarted.
Gupta and I immediately took the opportunity to announce that we would share the same bunk in the interest of 'sharing body heat', but that proposal was squashed immediately by the other homophobic prudes in our party. And that is INSPITE of the fact that we insisted we would be sharing ONLY body heat and nothing else. Apparently, getting frostbitten privates is infinitely preferable to doing anything vaguely 'gay'.

1.15 am: Dream Time.
Well, that was the end of the of a must enjoyable day 2, and I slowly dropped off into insensibility, with only my nose peeking out of the bedclothes.

More than what is.

2008-03-18T23:22:00.001Z

Arthur C Clarke passed away today. He saw more than what is.

The Drive to Skye - Scotland Day 2 part 1

2008-03-16T16:01:00.008Z

5.00 am: Coffee and Conversation at dawn.
I woke up around 5 am the next day, quite a bit woozy and disoriented, but driven out of bed by the realization that we had to leave as early as possible, and that none of the others would be up on time unless I woke them. In this, however, I was wrong, as Kuruvilla's bed was empty, and I saw her lying half comatose in the hall, having being awakened by a phone call from India. We felt much better once we got some caffeine in us, and we watched the spectacular sunrise over the harbour as we slowly sipped our coffee.

6.30 am: Where they were rudely awakened
The next challenge was waking up the other narcoleptic three. Gupta was up without too much of a fuss, but both George and Kumar, deeply dreaming of the women they could never get in real life, absolutely refused to get up. So I got Kuruvilla and Gupta to use the bathrooms (there were only two) first, while I woke the remaining too. I started work on George first. After a dint of much poking and prodding and guilt-trips, he finally sat up. My sigh of relief was premature however, as he saw Kumar snug under the duvet, and said - Wake him up first, and dropped straight back into his pillow. Okay, so I'll wake up Kumar, I thought. This was easier said than done as, for a skinny little skeleton; Kumar was surprisingly resistant to being woken up, clinging to his duvet and blanket and perverted dreams like a cross between a mule and a limpet.

7.00 am: Where I am tortured.
Oh, hang it all, I thought, and since one of the bathrooms were free by then, I in to start my toilet. Ahh, what could be more relaxing than a hot shower, especially when the climate is a bit nippy. I all but melted under the soothing jets of hot H2O, but quickly and rudely awakened when within five minutes the pleasant stream of water, became a FRIGID STREAM OF LIQUID ICE. Well, I should have seen that happening.

Remember guys, when there is a limited size boiler in the house, DO NOT LET THE GIRL TAKE THE FIRST BATH. Well, you can imagine the scene - me nekked and all soaped up cowering in the far corner, as far away from the stream of water which is so cold that it BURNED. From the other bathroom, a scream of pure anguish fell on my ears. I smiled sourly; apparently George had found the hot water had run out too.

I don’t want to recount how I managed to shower off the remaining soap off me, but I still dream about it sometimes. It haunts me. Kumar of course, having been the last person to get up did not have to suffer the agony of the temperature of the shower dropping from a pleasant 40 C to around 0 Kelvin. He simply opted not to have a bath, which worked out well for him, but forced the rest of us to spend that day travelling with our heads sticking out of the car window.

10 am: Last Moment Leaving Panic
After a hurried breakfast and a careful packing of the car, by which I mean throwing everything we had in the house in the back of the car, Kumar with great skill and resource lost the car keys. He made it seem so easy. Well, after a frantic ten minutes, where he panicked and jumped around like a castrated cockroach, we found the keys in his pocket, and checked out, and were off on our way, with Gupta at the wheel.

We found our way very easily this time, mostly due to my amazing memory and map reading skill, and were soon on our way to Fort William.

10.45 am: Loch, Stock and four smoking tyres.
We avoided the A90, and the bridge, which was apparently heavily crowded, but went west on the Glasgow road and merged onto the M9, which we left at Kildean to go on the A84.The A84/A82 is an amazingly scenic route, especially after Callander, after which we drove through several well wooded areas, and passed several Lochs with fascinating names like Loch Lubnaig, Loch Earn, Loch Tulla (with a turnoff to the ominous sounding Black Mountain), Lock Nah-Achlaise and Lock Ba.

We stopped at one of these lochs to take a few photographs and stretch our legs, and then we were off again. And here they are -

Remember, click on the slideshow to view them in detail. It's quite worth it, I promise you.

At Glencoe, we turned off our route to circle Loch Leven, passing Kinlochleven (a picturesque small town with amazing views), to reach the A82 again at North Ballachulish, after which we were on the Great Western Way, driving along the HUGE Loch Linhe, till we reached Fort William.

3.00 pm: Hunger Pangs

By this time I was trying to subdue a rebellion in the car, as except for Gupta and me, the remaining three were clamouring for their food. The worst was Kumar, who could hardly go an hour without shovelling some sort of sustenance into his gaping maw.

The trend went like this – about 15 minutes from the previous stop where Kumar had demolished a couple of burgers, he’d start to look uneasy. Twenty minutes in, and he’d be darting shifty sidelong glances at the rest of us, looking more starving coyote than human. Thirty minutes was usually the breaking point, at which point he would turn around and ask if anyone else was feeling hungry. Not that HE was feeling hungry, of course, he declares emphatically; but he just likes to be considerate. At which point I usually squelch him by pointing out that if we stopped as often as he would like, we would still be around the outskirts of Norfolk.

But it was late afternoon, by the time we reached Fort William, and I was afraid that forcing the troops any further without fuel would result in a lynch mob, so we pulled into the first parking we saw.

4.00 pm: Tourism = McDonalds.
Fort William was decent enough, but very touristy and commercial. Kuruvilla had been yearning for a McDonald’s burger for the past two hours, and Manish had to feed his pet tapeworm, so we went into the closest McDonalds. There were a large option of burgers with different kinds of meat, but unfortunately not the Haggis burger I had been hoping for. Surprisingly, there was not even one veggie option, so Gupta had to do with fries while he mumbled and cursed.

5.00 pm: A Drive at Dusk; The Isle of Skye.

It was mid-evening by the time we left Fort William, and we hurried along the Great Glen Way, another very scenic route, passing Loch Lochy, where we left the A82 at Invergarry to continue on the A87, Loch Garry and Loch Cluane. By this time it was getting pretty murky, and most of the occupants were comatose, twitching and muttering in their sleep. Loch Duch loomed out from the gloom, with the Eilean Donan castle eerily lighted up. This castle was where the Highlander movies were shot, and is as remote and beautiful as in the movies.

It was getting pretty dark by this time, and we finally reached the Kyle of Lochalsh, where we crossed a huge bridge and were finally on the Isle of Skye!

3004 and Counting

2008-03-13T00:54:00.003Z

Wow. This has been the fastest 1000 hits; just took little over two months. The reason for that may be that I posted quite regularily in Jan, and consequently hit refresh on my blog a significant number of times. But anyways, for those of you who visited my blog: thanks a lot and do come again.

Well it's here - my 750 gig MyBook. People have read my last post and apparently I've come off greedy and avaricious. I don't know why; this latest purchase just brings the amount of storage space I travel with up to a measly 1.4 Tb. What I tell them, is that storage isn't everything - my old PC at home has a 2 Gb hdd. 2 Gb; phew, the RAM on my current laptop is double that size!

Well, all I can think of nowdays is my upcoming dSLR purchase. I've almost settled on the D60, and good news - Nikon has released a very affordable 55 - 200mm VR lens. And this makes me happy. Well, maybe I AM greedy.

Gadget Crazy!!

2008-03-10T20:05:00.006Z

Have you ever experienced this? You're walking along the month, saving your money, investing prudently in stocks and IPOs, when suddenly you decide you need this gadget. The purchase is usually small, but suddenly it opens the floodgates and you find yourself buying more and more gadgets, till suddenly you find yourself friendless and left sitting in the bathtub in the dark and crooning to your gadgets while rocking softly.

It all started when my Seagate external 500 GB HDD began behaving weirdly. Rather than find the problem I decided this was the ideal time to buy that Western Digital MyBook I'd been yearning for. After some deliberation I settled on the 750 GB Home Edition which I deemed worthy to store my extensive and important data collection. The Home edition is similar to the basic Essential edition with the addition of a capacity gauge and a FireWire 400/ eSATA connection, which would help me when I connect it to my PC.

Okay so that was a mildly justifiable purchase. Not so the phone I'm now obsessed with buying. Am leaning v v heavily towards the N95 8GB. Now I know it looks like crap compared with it's older, sexier sibling, but the larger screen and improved battery life have sold me. But then the iPhone tries to steal me with its seductiveness. Or so my n00b friends would have me believe. But I have yet to consider other smart phones on the market. Or else hold out for that totally droolworthy N96. Yum. Of course it will probably cost me an arm and a leg and BOTH kidneys.

So the N95 8gig is the way to go. http://multimedia-cell-phone-review.toptenreviews.com/ bears me out. And if any of you think the iPhone is better plz to see the comparision here. And the comparision between the two models of the N95 is here.

But all this is just dross in front of my next planned purchase, as I just heard the Nikon D60 has finally come out which nearly caused me a technologically induced orgasm. And all of a sudden, the dSLR which I had always been planning to buy popped up bright and clear in my mind.

Now I am a total camera n00b, not knowing my f stops from my ISO setting. The only thing I DO know is that you haveta crouch down and take pics, so you LOOK professional, no matter that you dont know what you're doing ^_^. Anyways, this photographer friend of mine swears by Nikon, and shes pretty hot-shot, and this seems to bear her out. And of course the D60 adds a lot of stuff to its arsenal, not the least of which is the dust reduction system, white balance bracketing, and best of all it ships with a vibration reduction lens as standard, which will help a lot with those night shots. See what you get with the extra 50 quid over the D40x here.

Well, if you guys have some suggestions regarding the phone, or especially regarding the camera, please do comment. Is the D80 worth the exta money. Anything I haven't considered?

From The Heart

2008-02-29T00:00:00.008Z

What do movies like Juno, Rocket Science, Little Miss Sunshine, Waitress or Ghost World have in common? Well, they're all sorta indie, predominantly teen driven, cute movies, which mirror real life. They generally have happy endings, but not perfect endings.

In my opinion, the common thread that ties all these films together is heart. All of them have heart. No, they wont make you cry, but they will make you think; they will make your heart swell up... they will make you feel.

Well, do any of you know films that fit into this genre, be sure to post them as comments here. I will be grateful.

Well, this post has been written, as I'm just back from watching Juno. A genuine feel gooder full of wit with a whimsical soundtrack, this is a must watch. Ellen Page is predictably brilliant, but Michael Cera is brilliant too. After Superbad, I'm keeping an eye out for this little guy.

Interestingly enough, the screenwriter, Diablo Cody, used to be a stripper, and I'm guessing she has many more interesting tales on the way.

The film is full of one liners and zingers, and the plot never really goes where you expect it to. But put all together, it works; it really does.

EARTHQUAKE!!

2008-02-27T01:12:00.005Z

An earthquake has just been experienced in Norwich at around 1.00 am on the 27th of February 2008. No information online yet about the magnitude or epicenter.

This reporter got the shock of his life, and ran and stood in the doorway. Hope there's not much damage!

There was absolutely no mention of it on the net, and I thought I was going mad, till I found another friend online who thought he was going mad too, and that he only had felt it! This brings back memories of the quake in Noida, where my entire apartment building started swaying (I lived on the eighth floor).

2.08 am Update

BBC has finally got the story - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/7266136.stm (an hour after this blog :) )

Apparently, the earthquake was a 4.7. Wonder how much damage this has caused, and how this will affect the Insurance companies (after the beating the took during this summer's floods) ? Look at the damage an earlier 4.3 earthquake caused - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/6605095.stm

Laughter Therapy

2008-02-26T23:58:00.003Z

Omanomanoman. I'm hyperventilating here. This may be a bit of a cheat, but watch these. Totally worth it. And if you cannot watch them, INSTALL FIREFOX >:(

My Bloody Valentine

2008-02-14T23:30:00.002Z

To all you sad fucks in the same boat as I am -

The Gun in My Mind

2008-02-04T16:09:00.000Z

The O2 arena stood out in the night like the head of some weird alien with glowing antennae. Okay that’s a crappy simile. But it is quite impressive. The O2 Arena at London , I mean. Not my simile. We were there for the Linkin Park - Minutes to Midnight tour. Now I was never a LP fan; yes, I have heard the odd song here and there, but have not really followed them.

Well, Kumar was late as usual, and hungry as usual, so after standing in a disturbingly short queue, we made our way straight for the burger stand. We finally entered the arena, beer and burger in hand, and were suprised to see it almost empty, with only forty of fifty people around.

Well, apparently someone had tipped everyone off, for though we entered the audi at half past six, Linking Park came on only a few minutes after nine. The good thing about this was that we were able to get amazing positions just a few feet away from the stage.

At around half past seven, a group I'd never heard of before - Biffy Clyro came on the stage and proceeded to rock the audience with some high voltage music. I quite liked them, and the lead vocalist, Simon Neil, had an amazingly powerful voice.

In about an hour they were done, and it was another long wait. Finally they drew a curtain round the stage, and with a crescendo of music, the show was on. I must tell you; maybe the thousands of decibels pumping through my brain affected my taste, but I quite forgot I didn’t care for Linking Park, and was shouting and jumping just like any of the angst ridden, lovesick teens around me.

And of course, being close enough to the stage to feel the spray from Delson's spit, only added to the excitement, as I sung, nay screamed, with the band to songs I had never heard before. Okay, so maybe I didn't have the words down pat, or even the tune, as I saw people glancing at me nervously and backing away as I belted out 'Brawling in a tin, these boobs are not a meal. Dear I cannot stall, you have to turn the wheel' in a thin shriek. But hey, it's the enthusiasm that counts isn't it?

Standing right in front and jumping up and down like a deranged kangaroo is not the perfect recipe to getting clear pictures of the band, especially when your attention is divided between watching the stage and the statuesque blonde gyrating a foot to the right of me. Wait, it was Linkin Park performing that day, right? Right?

But thankfully I had friends in the seated section who were able to get a couple of clear snaps, which I place for your delight and viewing pleasure. For I am nothing if not generous to a fault.

Well due to their late arrival, LP performed way past our safety time margin, and we had just a half hour to reach Liverpool from North Greenwich, which we achieved, with a dint of frantic running, with three minutes to spare.

Check out more pics below -

Credit goes to Mr. Saxena and his Cybershot for most of the pics.

Watch this space for some vids of the concert.

Revenge: a dish best served in a pie.

2008-02-02T23:03:00.000Z

There's a whole in the world like a great black pit
and the vermin of the world inhabit it
and its morals aren't worth what a pin can spit
and it goes by the name of London.
At the top of the hole sit the previlaged few
Making mock of the vermin in the lonely zoo
turning beauty to filth and greed...
I too have sailed the world and seen its wonders,
for the cruelty of men is as wonderous as Peru
but there's no place like London!

There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
and it's filled with people who are filled with shit!
And the vermin of the world inhabit it!

As rich red blood wells out of cracks and runs into gutters and sewers, you can settle back in your seat, with the confidence that Tim Burton, as always, will not fail to deliver a surreal, quirky and visually fantastic experience.

The music is NOT by Elfman this time, and at times the songs seem to stretch just a wee bit longer than what is comfortable, but Burton more than redeems himself with hilarious sequences, especially the 'By the Sea' song.

Depp is as usual brilliant, and Carter manages to be both grimy and sensual and funny at the same time. Rickman is not as creepy as he could have been, which is a disappointment, but Sasha Baron Cohen is pure genius.

And like my friend remarked, Burton must've gone through several thousand bottles of ketchup for this film, for the blood flows freely. Oh boy, does it flow! Quite gruesome really, but go watch!

Snowflakes melt to teardrops.

2008-02-02T01:04:00.000Z

I'm surpised to find myself still alive and kicking. Yes, yes, I can hear the screams and wails of anguish and disappointment, but I am quite well now. I do have a sorethroat, and the remanants of a fever, but hey; thats what you get for eating ice-cream and playing in the snow in your jammies.

Yes, it has finally snowed in copious amounts in Norwich. And let me tell you it's no fun walking through the snow without a hat or gloves. By the time I reached home the sleet had turned into large snowflakes; it was a veritable blizzard.

Watching those large flakes drifting down onto my bare skin, I was taken back to my youth on my home world of Titan where large blue flakes of methane used to slowly condense out of the air. But I digress...

(You may ask why the flakes were drifting down on my BARE skin, but thats neither here nor there is it?)

Anyway, have a look at the pics. Hah, take THAT, kind stranger; Drama queen, am I ?? :P

As usual, click on the slideshow to link to larger versions of the photographs.

MDTD - Mine Darke and Twisted Death.

2008-01-31T22:40:00.000Z

I'm not posting as I'm burning up with fever. It's so high I'm having hallucinations that I am stuck in the most boring place on earth with only this blog and unresponsive readers to entertain me.

.. Oh wait!

I suspect appendicitis, except the pain in my abdomen is on the left, not right. (not yet)

Anyways, the plastic on my keyboard is going to melt soon from my body heat. So I'm gunna crawl back into bed, curl up and die now kthnx.

Meanwhile, my last link - http://www.istanbul.tc/mahir/mahir/

hm I think I'll tag this post with 'sick' which can work on so many levels and will definitely be use to me in the future, assuming I survive.

5 perspectives (or) 'Trippin in da land of Scots

2008-01-26T23:56:00.000Z

Imagine, floating in space, nothing in front of you for miles but the stars making pinpoints of light in the vast blackness of space. You blink and then realise that a small crescent of the twinkling night is eaten away by a semicircle of pure blackness. Cue the crescendo of orchestral music, as you realise that the blackness is actually a ginormous disk resting on the back of a giant space turtle.

As the turtle does a lazy roll in space, the upper side of the disk suddenly becomes visible, and is completely different from the underside. For one thing it has its own miniature sun and moon, both revolving merrily around the disk. As the disk moves closer, your perspective zooms in, so what was a mass of greens, blues and browns resolve themselves into oceans and continents. Closer still and we see a small island, unique in that all around it the sun is shining brilliantly, while on it, there seems to be a blanket of dark clouds, looking so impenetrable that they give the appearance of being there for millennia, and having no intention of going away in a hurry.

As you pass through the clouds, a network of roads on the island becomes visible, and you happen to notice one particular car hurtling northwards in fits and swerves, as though the driver and the navigator are arguing on the correct way to hold the steering wheel, and are almost coming to blows about it. This car interests you strangely, and you allow yourself to fall towards it. It's quite serene floating through the atmosphere, till you realise you can't stop and hit the roof of the car with a 'Thump!''

Perspective 1 Kuruvilla :
Wha!' says I, as I awake to the weirdest scene. In the front, Kumar and Gupta have their hands at each other's throats, while the steering wheel drifts slowly to and fro. At the back on either side of me, Joky and George are covering near the door huddled with their heads tucked below their arms. 'Did I ever have the weirdest dream' said I. 'Was it about the national tai-kwon-do championships?' replied Joky as he turned towards me revealing a bloody nose, 'Coz you were flailing your arms around like Jackie Chan on hallucogenics!’ And thus Day 1 dawns, with us sitting in bitter silence as the rain pours down like a Labrador’s tears.

[Gorgeous Greens]

Day 1 – 22’nd Dec

Okay so I exaggerate. dere was no dream sequence, no bloody nose, and dere absolutely no giant Space turtles. Or at least dat's what da CIA want you to think. hehehehe. We stopped off at a pit stop near da lake district for a quick breakfast, after which Joky gave up the wheel to Manish while Dheeraj took on the navigator's role. As we entered into Scotland, miraculously da sky began to clear to become the most brilliant blue. We soon entered A701 which was a marvelously scenic strip of road. I cradled my baby; my D40x in my lap and crooned to it a lullaby of all the pix we would take together.

[The Road Ahead]

Perspective 2 Kumar :
’Dudeee!’ I exclaimed as I was on the road with the steering wheel gripped firmly, ‘this is cool.’ I could just about make out the road blurring past though the drug haze, but the car almost steered itself and the wheels lifted off the asphalt and we flew into the rainbow.

[Stone Wall]

[Sheepish Love]

We were just driving past this meadow, when I fell in love. The most beautiful creatures dotted the hills, white and fluffy, as though god had broken off pieces of clouds and scattered them on earth. Well I had to see these beautiful creatures up close, so we pulled up and walked to the meadow. As I raced to embrace the sheep, to my dismay they turned as one and trotted quickly away. What ever could the Scots have done to sheep to make them so wary of humans? I wonder….

Perspective 3 : George
As we passed sign after sign marked Edinburgh, I could only come to one conclusion - We were heading to Edinburgh! I knew we were supposed to head to Wales, but I much preffered Scotland, so decided to keep mum. I sniggered quietly to myself, and resolved not to look too smug when they finally discovered we were headed completely in the wrong direction!

Perspective 4: Joky

As the only sane member of the party, I tried to keep my wits about me. We soon entered Edinburgh, and thanks to my sterling and flawless backseat navigation, we were soon hopelessly and utterly lost. We had to stop and ask an assortment of people for directions, including this couple of lovely Scottish lassies with come-hither smiles.

[Heathered hills]

Unfortunately, my friends did not let me get very chummy with them and drove away just as I was use my infallible pick-up line (if you want me to share it, send me a cheque for £50). The next people we approached were this elderly couple; the lady tried her best, but her husband took one look at the map we had and exclaimed, ‘That’s made in England. It’s rubbish!’ Anyway after a scenic tour round the city and after being nearly rear ended by a bus, we finally reached our destination – the Harbour View self catering apartments.

[Pastoral Idyll]

Perspective 5 Gupta :
The apartments were quite nice, though at the person at the reception did ask us for extra cash due to an extra person. However, Kumar did persuade him to call his office, where after a series of humms and hawws, and a 'You'll have to explain it to Jackson', he turned to us and said, 'You're bloody lucky', as they had already put the amount through the system. We also confirmed our apartment, as we were planning to stay in the same place on our return. That amount was also put through, so I chimed in with ' Apparently we're bloody bloody lucky'. But after that he was quite helpful.

[Sunset at Edinburgh]

Kuruvilla: Oooh! I loved da apartments. Kumar did a lovely job booking them. da flat was beautiful with a wonderful view of the harbour, with a lighthouse flashing in the distance, and a cosy hall with a well equipped kitchen. We decided to dump everything and run for the castle as it was getting late. We piled in the cab, and with Joky and Gupta questioning the cabbie about Edinburgh, we hastened towards the famous Edinburgh Castle overlooking the beautiful city and harbour.

[The Entrance to the Castle]

Joky: And I saw a shop called the Greyfriars Bobby !

Kuruvilla : Er.. yes. Anywayyy, we were soon at da castle, and since Gupta had seen it twice before he absolutely refused to go in, and so he and Joky, who had also seen the castle before opted to stay out. The rest of us went into the castle and it was like a fairytale. We saw the dungeons, and the throne room all adorned with weapons on the walls. I pretended that I was the duchess of Scotland as we wandered 'round.

Kumar : The castle was a dump! I cannot believe that we paid good money to go in here. Okay, so the room with the swords was okay, but the rest was worthless! Anyways I humored Kuruvilla as she snapped loads of photos with her camera thingy.

George : Hmm. This seems to be a castle. I would comment more, but I've just gotta take this call.

Kumar : Well we exited out and rejoined the other two, and headed down to the princes avenue. We popped into a few souvenir shops on the way, where I and Gupta bought mufflers.

[Most Excellent View]

Gupta: I already had a muffler, but this one on the rack simply shouted out to me. It was the most vivid and masculine colour, and I could feel it adding to my already powerful aura as I wrapped it around my throat.

Joky : For Pete's sake; it was PINK! I mean it was a ladies muffler! An actual muffler meant for women. I gestured frantically at Gupta to take it off, but he was quite oblivious. We soon got into an argument about whether the muffler was appropriate for men or not. Did I mention it was pink?

We finally made a bet, and to prove his point, Gupta strode over to the girl at the cash counter, the muffler still around his neck.

The conversation went something like this

Gupta: Hi

Pretty girl at counter staring at his pink muffler: er..
hi.

Gupta: I would just like to confirm; this muffler is
meant for men, right?

Girl: Um no. That's actually for women.

Gupta: You mean it can be worn by women also. A unisex
kinda thing.

Girl: Nope. That's pretty much for women only.

Gupta, clutching at straws now: But it can be worn by men
too, after all its a good colour. Doesn't it look good on me?

Girl, who wants to make a sale, but not able to lie: Well
yes, but its for women.

Gupta: Well I dont understand. After all it's just like
the other mufflers in that shelf.

Girl: Thats because that's the ladies section, sir. The
men's section is over here...

Gupta: Bah! What do those peasants know about style. Anyways, after they finished laughing, Kumar felt it was time to eat. For once Joky agreed, so we went in hunt of a takeaway. Kumar and I were both rooting for Indian, so we finally found this little Indian place. As soon as we stepped in, we realised it was dead empty. Not a good sign. Anyway, we placed our order, and we were soon in a taxi on the way home.

Kuruvilla : We wuz freezin our asses off out dere, hanging round waiting for our taxi to show. This WAS Scotland in da winter after all. As soon as we reached our apartment, we rushed around putting all da heaters on. We changed, laid out all da food, and started the booze fest in honest.

Kumar: I was feeling a bit peckish by that time, so as Joky was pouring out the drinks I decided to nibble on a few snacks.

Joky: That bugger was eating everything in sight! I was pouring out the Morgans Spiced, while I saw him hiding behind the sofa inhaling the food. Mmm Morgans Spice. I love it. Well The toast was made, and we commenced to partayy!

Kuruvilla : We hit da alcohol hard! The conversation sparkled, erudite and urbane, as we devised solutions of how to eliminate world hunger, and whether Brad Pitt was the reason why Friends finally cancelled. The alcohol and wit flowed like water and I was quite impressed at the intelligence of the people around me.

Joky : ... And I was like - Dude.. and then she.. she wash like - Duuudee !!

Kumar : Gupta, Ish lovesh you. You play teh pool. you are teh cool. Pool is cool.

Joky : Can I stand on my head.. I can stand on my head. but not now. not now. maybe later. or may be now. No, not now. Wooah look at my hand when it come up real close to my face. Its coming, its coming.. wooah no its going back.. wait its coming again.. closer closer.. OW

George : Yes, so we're in Edinburgh today, so tomorrow we'll travel to the Isle of Skye, stay at Portree, then we head on to Inverness, and then back to Edinburgh via Aviemore.

Kuruvilla : Oh George.. you're so drunkkk.. hehehehhehehe ... hehehehehehe

(note from ed. - Did I mention Gupta is a teetotaler?)

Gupta : Look at these &*@##% asses. Drunk off their heads. What do people get out of alcohol, and then behaving like jackasses?

Kumar: G.. George, time to go out for a smoke.

Joky: What about it, Kuruvilla?

Kuruvilla : No no no.. I don’t shmoke..

Joky : O_O

Kuruvilla : Unlessh I’m really really drunk. Lets go! Heheheheehe

A few ciggies later…

Kumar : Duuuuuddee

Joky : Do you guy see these owls? huh huh? Get out of here owls. No, I do not want your encyclopedias. I can’t read your language, I can just speak it. Whoo hoo.. hoo hoo!

Kuruvilla : heheheheheh.. oh I have to puke…

George : Are you all right back there ?

Kuruvilla : No no I’m fine, lemme hav anudder drink. Er lemme puke again first.

George : ok I need to take a leak

Gupta : You all right man?

George : yeah I’m fine man perfectly fine absolutely fine.. BLLEAGGH!

Dear reader, I interrupt here to take you away from this sordid tale. Needless to say, I sobered up in a hurry after that. Fed some food to Kuruvilla and Kumar, ‘n then cleaned up the kitchen after that. All the food we had ordered from the takeaway was still on the table untouched. I just managed to stuff it in the fridge before falling dead on the bed. My last waking thoughts were – This was fun.

[Sunrise o'er the Harbour]

Ed's note: Okay, so this was a hell of long post, and only connected to reality by the thinnest of threads. But hey, thats what happens when you write while under the 'fluence. Again, I apologise to the people paraphrased here (and that too not well). The intent is to be humorous, and not be constrained by reality!And once again, apologies to Mr. Pratchett.

Mmm tastes like bacon..

2008-01-24T20:32:00.000Z

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Death and Secks

2008-01-20T23:38:00.000Z

I believe in sex and death; two things that come but once in my lifetime. But at least after death, you're not nauseous
- Woody Allen

I love that quote from Sleepers, this off the wall Woody Allen scifi comedy (and NOT because I identify with the sex part). Give it a dekko; it's full of Allen's trademark quips and zingers.

Next, for your perusal, I have this hilarious link:

A selection of some of my favourites -

That One's Boring -- Tell the Donkey-Punch Story Again!
Small child, trying a Sprite: I don't like it.
Dad: If you don't like the taste, just spit it out.
Mom: I've heard that one before.
--33rd & 7th Overheard by: Brian Flanagan

... Mom
Lady: You're making me wet... I SAID you're making me wet.
Man: Yes, I tend to have that effect on the ladies.
Lady: With your umbrella.
Man: I'm flattered, but it's not that big.
--1 train Overheard by: Sloane

You're Welcome, Grasshopper
Yuppie woman, bumping into a man: Sorry.
Man: Don't say sorry. This is New York. Nobody says sorry.
Woman: What do you want me to say? Fuck you??
Man: That's better. This is New York. Who says sorry?
Woman: Fuck you.
--Bryant Park Overheard by: Young professional's friend

Next is a bitter-sweet link. . This is an online community where people mail in their secrets on homemade cards. Some are funny, some sad; all interesting.

A selection -

A Wee Bonnie Sheepie

2008-01-19T20:18:00.000Z

Let me tell you a sordid tale; a tale of moral degradation, of alcoholism, deprivation and ovine voyeurism.

It is the tale of our road trip to Scotland over Christmas. The middle of a wet depressing winter brings out thoughts of suicide in any reasonable man, and the only way to survive, or so I thought, was to freak out over the winter holidays.

So a trip was planned, no not to Ibiza, or the West Indies, or even the south of England. I planned to go to Scotland where I could freeze my 'nads off.

Well I didn't have any real friends left in the UK, so I had to settle for an assorted collection of second-tier creatures to accompany me, mainly based on their utility. So I got a driver, a photographer, a person to speak English with a brit accent in case we were ever pulled over by the cops, and someone to provide comic relief. Well, after the trip, I can say that they all were totally useless at their assigned roles! Except maybe the photographer did provide a lot of comic relief, as it was drunk most of the time.

The driver fought with the brit accent guy the whole of the way trying to figure out who was the better driver, the photographer had been told to always crouch on the ground to take photographs, so roughly half our time was wasted seeing it trying to balance on its haunches like a pup learning to beg, and the comic relief was so spaced out that most of the time his vacation was actually running on a 12 hour jet lag behind ours.

Okay, so I kid. Most of these guys were always among my good friends, and the camaraderie we shared on this trip has bumped them up to among the best of my friends. I don’t know about them, but once the trip was over I got a bit depressed missing them (help! they're forcing me to write this). Thanks a lot, guys; you may be retards, but I love ya. So I do apologise in advance for the cracks I'll be making at your expense further on.

Anyhoo, on to the trip.

Day 0 - Dec 21st
Gupta arrived at the station where I was waiting to meet him. Together we took a long and torturous cab ride to Enterprise to pick up our car. Where we found, they didn't have the car we were expecting! But they were really nice, they gave us a discount, and soon we were behind the wheel of a brand new Renault Scenic, confronted by a bewildering array of buttons. More about this car later.

Well, with a prayer we rolled off and were soon at Sainsbury's buying a bewildering array of food, snacks and alcohol. Let it be noted that we bought too much food, about half of it came back with us, but the alcohol ran short O_O. And this was with one teetotaler! Of course, I hadn't counted on the photographer literally inhaling the alcohol as thought there were no tomorrow.

Well, the next to arrive was Kuruvilla, with the precious camera cradled betwixt arms. To be noted, the camera did not leave that position for the rest of the trip. After which Kumar and George called me to say they were lost in the fog, which led to a chase sequence with me shouting Kumar's name like that of a long lost lover's as I drove through the maze of roads that is Norwich.

Well finally we were all in ground zero in my house, and a plan of action was being formulated. To be mentioned - I had been to Scotland before, where I had covered the East Coast; Edinburgh, Perth, Aberdeen, Inverness and then cross country via Aviemore and the Caingorms back to Edinburgh. (That trip ended rather tragically with me being rear ended very violently on the motorway. The car was totaled, and we had to be towed back to Aldershot.)

Well this time I had mapped out a route starting from Edinburgh, to fort Williams, the Isle of Skye, Inverness and then back to Edinburgh via Aviemore. Check our route here.

The fog was going to throw a spanner in the works, but we decided to set off at 3 am. At 1 am I finally drifted off to sleep only to be awakened at 2 by what seemed to be a weasel being slowly slaughtered. This turned to be Kumar snoring, and try as we did; there was no way to get him to switch off.

So at half past three in the morning, bleary eyed and bushless(?) tailed we set off, with me taking the first shift and Kumar navigating. Rain and intermittent fog slowed us down, and as we drove into the dawn, the starting of our Scotland trip seemed ominous indeed.

In my next post - High Road Hi-jinks! The sheep call out to Kumar! George finds out we're tavelling to Scotland! And many more pics!

Lights.. Camera.. Action!

2008-01-15T16:22:00.000Z

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left York at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Peterborough at 4:19p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

Closer they came, their breath quickening, hearts pounding like a couple of bongo drums beaten by belligerent natives.

'Wait!' said he, 'You're a guy!'

They beat a hasty retreat, both resolving to invest in glasses.

On second thought, no girl will have us anyway.

Enter villian. 'Take that $%@%*&@ hat off !'

The hero counterattacked. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

The blow connected squarely, but did not wipe off his smile.

Lets take a closer look at that.

Oh man, I'm running out of inspiration... lets see.... The force of the bunch drove him five steps back, arms pinwheeling wildly, like a dutch windmilll in a hurricane.

Our hero recovers quickly.

All those years of self-gratification finally pay off as he lands a devastating right!

To add insult to injury, a quick ass fondle is thrown in.

Tired of these games, vital points are targeted, to bring the game to a quick close.

Slo-mo replay!

And to finish off, we deploy the 'Randy Goat Attack'!

But, I guess, in the end, you just cant keep a good man down. Huh.. huh.. am I right? Ladies.. ladiess?? :P

BAH!

BTW, I had forgotten to credit the photographer - Most of the pics were taken by Shazzer on her D40x. The rest are by me.

Geek like me

2008-01-14T23:52:00.000Z

Okay, all you aspiring geeks check out where you fit on here. And if you need to look up any category, gtfo. Click on it to expand

Budday Wishes

2008-01-12T14:54:00.001Z

Link to the greeting here.

Norwich by Gaslight

2008-01-09T23:42:00.000Z

'You'll never take me alive, Homes.' said Elizabeth Moriarty as she prepared to deploy her umbrella.

Supersize me (or) I wrote this whole post just to work in the last sentence

2008-01-08T14:19:00.000Z

I'm deathly afraid of travelling on planes. Crashing and going to hell in a fireball of molten metal is the least of my worries, however. No, what really scares me is the torture my knees will go through for the next eight hours. Because once I wedge myself into my seat and my knees are jammed into the back of the seat in-front of me, I'm sure not going anywhere till they pry me out with a crowbar. No wonder I've developed good bladder control.

And of course the diminutive girl next to me has enough space to stretch her legs out, do a few lunges and open her food tray and rest her feet on top of it. At which point I finally loose my patience and smack her upside the head. To which she responds by biting me.... In the knee.

People always envy tall people. But believe me, the world does it's best to compensate for what few advantages we have by trying to compress us into the tiniest spaces meant for normal mortals. When you can't hear the radio while driving, because your knees are blocking your ears, it's time to pull over and set fire to the car.

And dont get me started on the whole opposite sex thing. How can you make out how a girl looks when all you can see is the top of her head. I once dated this girl for two months, she had a haircut, and I couldn't recognise her any more. We broke up shortly after. Nowdays, I duck and weave like a boxer when meeting women, trying to get a glimpse of their face.

All in all, it's quite tough. I have repeated concussion from having knocked my head off various doorframes, ledges and overhangs. And that's why I have this lazy eye. Now, I just keep my huge fat head tucked into my shoulders. and envy all the small people around me.

Because sometimes, there's nothing better than a little head.

Carpe Diem, 2008

2008-01-06T17:46:00.000Z

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song
still in them. - Thoreau

That is the saddest but truest thing I have read. People travel through life shackled to their crosses. Only those of us unaware of their burden can ever be content. The rest of us peer up to the night sky through the bars of our school, our job... our life.

Few are those who dare to unfasten the shackles, to unbolt the shutters to walk in the light beyond. Because isn't that what society teaches us; shoulder your responsibilities, do the right thing, be part of the team. And most of us, cowed into submission, resolve to 'do the right thing by others', never imagining that maybe we were intended to do the right thing by ourselves.

And in the end when we look back, is the path not stewn with regret? For of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: ‘It might have been’…

So to you gentle reader, I entreat; live your life to the fullest and remember, your biggest responsibility is to yourself. Let not the fears, aspirations or opinions of your parents, your friends or society dictate the terms of your life.

It's not too late.

And so this 2008, Carpe Diem, baby.. Carpe Diem.

Collaborators Invited

2008-01-05T12:18:00.000Z

Friends, Romans, Countrymen... lend me your posts.

Thats right. In the spirit of collaboration, networking and just plain lazyness, I invite all of you talented aspiring wordsmiths to take part in this unique opportunity. Mail me your tired, you poor, your huddled articles yearning to breathe free at darketwistedlife@googlemail.com .

I'll accept anything, I'm desperate! Just dont make it too offensive or pornographic. (The pornographic ones will be posted on my secret blog - My Darke and Twisted SEX Life, or lack of it thereof).

Published authors will be added to my new Collaborators section, and will also be given a percent share in the profits of the blog (currently a grand total of 0).

So step right up, no shoving, there's enough space for everyone.

For some one....

Anyone...?