Monday, November 27, 2006

SurReality TV

I have recently been forced to watch some of the new Indian reality shows coming on the boob tube, and they have re-enforced my conviction in the stupidity extinction event due to overtake mankind in the next twenty years. In fact, some of the people on those shows seem to goad me to get out my sniper rifle and try to pre-pone the event, at least for some of them. I guess I know I’m really agitated when those voices in my head stop to speak.

Leading the list of evolutionary anachronisms is of course Big Brother, my first contact with which was while watching TV in UK. For a show named after Orwell's inspired view of futuristic dystopia, this show really plumbs the depths of human inanity. The initial attraction was of course, that participants were apt to shed their clothing at any second and have a quick carefree roll in the hay with the nearest possible person/object, quite uninhibited by the presence of ‘bout a hundred cameras with 30x zooms following their every move. After a while though, the perverse nature of this show was such that I found myself eagerly anticipating what Nadia, Stuart and the rest would get up to next. I started becoming allergic to direct sunlight, and watching TV with the lights off made the irises of my eyes expand and turned me a pasty white color, much like Gollum. I finally quit when my reflection in the mirror started to fade.

Now they’ve come up with an Indian Big Brother, which has a dash of Indian masala added in. Hah, I’d rather watch a girl chew a boiled scorpion (which was what was coming on fear factor yesterday). Personally, I prefer my scorpions deep fried. Mmmmm crunchy.

For the few people who have actually scrolled to the end of this page, have you ever been able to beat my Food eating Battle Monkey? Viren Joky is a Haggis Eating Paladin Monkey (9.1), which is much better than a Tripe eating Attack Monkey, like some people I know. Scroll to the bottom of this page and try your luck.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

The Quick Fiery Fox

Whoa! I bow down before the gods of Fire Fox who have finally weaned me off IE's devil teats. I'm using an add-on called Performancing to post this blog right now, and if it goes well then I will ritualistically tattoo myself with the firefox icon, and dance naked 'round Mitchell Bakers coffee machine.





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Thursday, November 23, 2006

The Eternal Sunshine of my Spotless mind.
Ola! All my avid readers, rejoice; for I am back with an eclectic mix of links and other garbage interspersed by my usual ramblings. It’s been three and a half months and 18 posts since I started blogging, and Mine Darke and Twisted Life is less than a hundred hits away from its half thousand. Now, I KNOW that the source of most of these hits must be me while I work on this page, but there are some people out there who are reading my blog, and I don’t have a clue as to who they are. So do post your comments, either on the blog itself, or at least in the Comment Box on the right. Pretty please with sugar and cream?

Well, I’ve redirected one of my old URLs to point to this blog. Try typing in http://www.enirvana.da.ru/ to get here next time. And now that you guys know this page is worth visiting again and again Click here to add the homepage to your favorites!

Lately life has become Curiouser and Curiouser’ as Alice would have put it. It so happens that I’ve been spending a lot of time with members of the opposite sex, with hardly any male company at all (no, Lokesh, you don’t count). I have therefore been immersed in a world of shoes, purses, jewellery in a bewildering array of shapes and sizes, and of course clothes, all tinted in vibrant hues of pink. Hmm, that last sentence may earn me a slow and torturous death at the hand of militant feminists, but then, diplomacy has never been my forte. My exaggerative, or ‘alternate truth’ telling skills are par excellence, but diplomacy.. never.
So, as I learnt the difference between danglers, hoops and studs, smelled all the different fragrances in a rainbow and comprehended that, no; a purse is not just something to carry things in, I felt my masculinity (as much as I have anyway) slowly being eroded, much like a chocolate excess on the jagged teeth of femininity. Well, I know what I got to do now.. swagger in a bar with my mates, adjust my crotch, and drink the night away while telling obscene jokes and belching out Cotton Eye Joe. Hmm, but before I do that, I just saw these darling pink sequined jeans which look just my size. I’ll be right back....

Psyche, I joke, I joke, I kid, I kid. Seriously, I hardly ever saw the colour pink, and absolutely no sequins. I just tend to get carried away trying to imitate Erma Bombeck. And since my macho-ness levels have always been quite in the negative (except for a slight affinity towards power tools; insert simian grunt here aka Tim-the-Toolman Taylor), I quite enjoyed myself drinking strawberry daquiris rather than whiskey on the rocks.

I have also met a real live person who actually posts on deviantART. Now, as per my profile, I’ve been a Deviant since Mar 13, 2001, 9:58 AM, and have posted absolutely.. zip, zilch, nada. Err.. when I say ‘deviant’ I mean a member of deviantART, thought my (airquotes) friends will say I’ve been a deviant for much much longer. Anyways, check out her art at http://shazzer06.deviantart.com/ ; its really good.

Now for a few informative and educational links. For all you people who always wanted to know more about the fine art of nosepicking but were afraid to ask; enjoy - http://jubal.westnet.com/hyperdiscordia/nosepicking.html . I just adore that last paragraph. Have you ever wanted see your worst enemy cry on the floor like a baby ? Torment him with this exquisite selection of pranks.

Allrighty then folks, this is me signing off. It’s been real… er no, its been surreal.